


Something To Believe In

by RickGrimesLover1010



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:09:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 31,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6471151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickGrimesLover1010/pseuds/RickGrimesLover1010
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>~Rick goes to the bar after a long shift at the office, locking eyes with a tall, muscled man with dark brown, blonde hair that was covering his dark blue eyes~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU fic. I, of course, thought of it while trying to sleep. Chapters will be added daily. 
> 
> \---> I know I checked 'Major Character Death' and I wouldn't say they were 'Major' so their 'Minor' deaths to me, but writing these chapters, seriously breaks my heart, regardless because I try to make this as real as I can and I put myself in their shoes.. soo, just a warning that there are some deaths in this..
> 
> \---> This is NOW finished!

"Hey Rick," Leon Basset waved to the deputy who kept his head down, walking past him, "Or not"

Rick was sitting patiently in the squad car waiting for his new partner, Abraham Ford, to arrive. He reached up in the visor, grabbing the family picture he had up there for years of Lori, Carl and himself. He was feeling a lot of emotions here lately: Blame, Disgusted, Shame, Unloved, Heart-broken' How could he not feel all those things when finding his wife, correction, ex-wife, fucking his best friend since like first grade? He was lost in thought until the passenger door opened.

"Mornin'." Abraham spoke with enthusiasm.

"Mornin', Ready?" Rick nodded towards the muscular armed red-head.

"Yep. Coffee first though."

"Whatever." Rick rolled his eyes placing the picture back in the visor.

Staring the car, putting it in drive he drove off, by-passing Shane walking towards the building. A few more moments later arriving at the only coffee shop in King County, he parked the care while waiting for Abraham while twisting his ring on his finger.

"You must love coffee?" Rick surmised.

"Yeah, one's for you though.."

"Oh, thanks. You didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to."

"Well, thank you."

"No problem."

Rick nodded politely as he sipped his coffee. Aware of his surroundings he watched a car speed through a red light. Throwing the car in drive, he gunned the car.

"Bitch Nuts!" Abraham screamed as his coffee spilt all over his crotch.

"I'm.. uhh.. sorry." Rick glanced over softly chuckling through his words, until he heard Shane over the radio.

"Rick, we've got 'em. Back off." Shane warned driving behind Rick.

"I've got him. You back off." Rick warned back.

"Damn-it, Rick. We have him!"

"I saw him first! Just like I saw Lori first!"

"Rick, please. Not over the radio." Shane calmly spoke.

Having enough, Rick slammed on the breaks putting his car in front of Shane's intentionally to make him stop. Rick then got out of the car walking towards Shane as Shane climbed out of his own car, slowly. Rick stood there panting as he was livid with his old friend, while Abe and Leon stood back.

"Rick.." Shane muttered.

Not wanting to hear Shane and the many excuses he drew his arm back and quickly punched the tall balded man, knocking him against the car.

"Do not 'Rick' me. Don't try to be the victim here. Don't try to be the 'best friend'. I don't want to look at you or speak to you ever again. I'm done with this." Rick screamed while holding onto Shane's collar until Abraham separated the two men.

"Woahh, easy now brother." Abe calmly spoke while pushing the older man to their own car.

"I'm.. uhh. Good. Let's go." Rick groaned getting back into the car as well as Abe, heading back to the station. 

They sat there in the car until Rick got out at the arrival of Shane and Leon, forcing Abe to get out too.

"Brother, let him go."

"The heartless bastard slept with my wife!" Rick screamed.

"I know. But beating the day lights out of him ain't gon' solve nothin'.." Abe then offered his cigar to Rick as the older man turned it down.

"Aww, bitch nuts.." Abe groaned, putting the cigar out.

"Are those your favorite words or something?"

"My use of words are the least of your worries right now." Abe then nodded to the sheriff who was walking out, towards them.

"Fu-" Rick stopped himself.

"Hello. Good mornin' Sheriff, m'am" Abe cleared his throat.

"Morning, Ford. Grimes, I need you in my office in two minutes.. not a minute later." Sheriff Michonne then turned on her heels, heading towards the building.

"Mother balls." Abe sighed.

"Not helping, Ford."

"I'm sorry. but that.. right.. there.. is just not good."

"You think?" Rick sarcastically said rolling his eyes then walked towards the building.

A few moments later, Rick arrived in front of the sheriffs' office, then knocked.

"It's open!" Michonne hollered.

Rick took a deep breath then headed into the office, instantly seeing Shane in the chair next to the open one.

"Not a minute late, M'am." Rick flashed his bright blue eyes towards her and heard Shane stifle a chuckle.

"Something' funny to you?"

"You're a damn smart-ass." Shane laughed rolling his eyes.

"Enough.." Michonne glared at Shane, "Rick, sit.."

"No thanks."

"Man, sit down."

"No thank you. I'd rather stand. Got back issues."

"I ain't got fuckin' cooties and since when.?"

"No, you just got my wife.. and since uhh, non-ya.."

"That was low, especially for you Grimes.." Shane scoffed.

"Low for me? Me? What's low is you being my best friend for years. you being my best man at my wedding. You being Carl's uncle and then you fucked my wife in our bed.."

"Correction, Ex-wife. Her bed and I'm still nailin' that fine as--"

"Enough! Jesus. You both are despicable. You can't even pull someone over without debating, It's completely and utterly ridiculous." Michonne yelled.

They both stopped fighting and directed their attention to the sheriff.

"Now, because of today's incident, I have to suspend you both. There is no other way around it." Michonne sighed handing them their suspension papers.

"You son of a bitch." Shane groaned snatching the paper and stood up.

"Not like you have a kid to take care of.." Rick looked at the injured man.

Shane sighed and put his head down.

"Son of a bitch." Rick sighed grabbing his paper and stormed to the locker room while packing a few things.

"Rick.." Shane muttered leaning against the row of lockers behind him.

"Shane, don't. Just tell Lori that I will have full custody of Carl. No if, ands, or buts about it. Congrats, I guess." Rick then shut his locker door and headed out of the locker room.

Walking past everyone he headed to his car getting in while tossing the bag in the back seat. He then started the car and headed to the local bar, still in his uniform. He then pulled in the gravel parking lot that was half-way lit up, parking the car in his normal spot. He eventually stalked his way inside and headed towards the empty seat in at the bar itself.

"What can I get ya, sugar?"

"Uhh, Malt Whiskey?" 

Carol then put a glass out in front of Rick and poured his whiskey and left him be. Rick sipped and winced at the pleasurable burning pain in his chest as he began fiddling with his wedding ring that he couldn't part with even though it's been a month since he and Lori divorced. He kept reliving the moments leading up to finding her and Shane in his bed and the instant heartbreak he felt while realizing that it was real. He then felt the impact of hearing she was pregnant with his baby, and previously reliving the moment of her saying she didn't want any more after Carl.. But then maybe it was because she didn't want one with Rick. Who knows. The loud laughter in the background was easy to tune out, until the half-rusted jukebox started playing a song he all too well knew like the back of rough calloused hands. He inhaled deeply at the sound of, 'Comfortably Numb', began playing and nodded to Carol to fill his glass once more. He sat there, trying to shake the feelings and the hurt out but the song and the memories were all too much to handle. He swirled in his seat to glance around the bar hoping to find someone to talk to. There were useless fighting over the pool tables, there was chatter at the corner of the back, and then there were a duo playing darts off to the right of him. Feeling the whiskey already he watched from afar at the duo throw darts, terribly, but he couldn't do it any better. The older one was losing hair and kinda had muscled arms but a curvy body, but wasn't fat either. He was wearing a dirty white tank-top and dirty jeans as he coaxed the younger blonde/brown haired man with dark blue eyes on. He watched the younger one intently, how he carried himself, trying to read what he was saying off his lips but couldn't make anything out. As his eyes reached up to the man's very muscled arms and up to his face he was at shock at the moment he and the very attractive man were staring into each other's eyes. He felt his member twitch against his pants and Carol instantly filled his glass up, noticing the two men, and Rick stared from afar as the younger gentleman returned the stare. 

Rick swallowed the lump in his throat away the best he could. He then noticed the man whisper something in the older guy's ear and began walking his way, which felt like one of them beach commercials of the woman running in slow motion. It was like watching the man run towards him in the commercial. By the time Rick blinked, the man was in front of him.

"Name's Daryl. Daryl Dixon. That's my brudder, Merle Dixon. We own a motor vehicle shop on the outskirts of King County.."

Rick was inaudible at the smell of the man in front of him.

"I seen you lookin' our way. You's play darts?"

Rick shook his head and felt himself twitch again.

"Oh. I see. Okay. Well, uhh.. I should probably get back then." Daryl muttered and began walking away

"Wait. Name's Rick. Rick Grimes. Sheriff's Deputy here in King County.."

"Nice to meet you, Rick Grimes, Sheriff's Deputy, of King County. Look, maybe the next time we both happen to be in here, you can play darts with me.. I'm here every night.. round 730ish." Daryl smirked as Rick nodded and he then walked back towards Merle.

"Find out anything? Why a cop is snoopin? I's got drugs in the truck, man.."

"He's nice.. He's uh.. enjoying a drink, Merle. Calm down.."

"He's nice? Huh. We have a Officer Friendly.. Well, you might want ta change your panties, Daryleena."

Daryl laughed and rolled his eyes taking a gulp of his beer watching his Sheriff's Deputy walk towards the door, and smiled as Merle handed him the darts. Rick turned to look back at the redneck who's muscles penetrated through his t-shirt as he was throwing darts, making him blushfully smile.


	2. Midnight Train To Memphis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick goes back to the bar at 730 to meet Daryl, again :)

Since the divorce, Rick made sure Lori received the house of _infidelity_. He then had packed all of his things along with Carl's things and they moved into his mother's house. She had a furnished basement where he used to spend most of his teenage years. Carl slept upstairs down the hall from his grandmother, as he had custody of his son. Carl visited with Lori and Shane every other weekend. Rick was still on suspension from the incident that happened between he and Shane. The morning after the bar Rick woke up in the lurid basement, all alone. He then glanced at the clock that laid beside his bed.

"830 in the morning. Fuck." Rick grumbled, swinging his legs off the bed.

He rubbed his rough calloused hands through his knotted curly hair as he then rubbed his eyes to wake up more. He finally got up, walking to the wall trying not to run into anything, but ran into the coffee table in the middle of the room, groaning in pain.

"Mother of shit! Fuckin shit." He screamed holding his now injured foot.

Rick then laughed to himself a few seconds later, realizing that the few hours with his new partner had rubbed off on him. He never cussed that much, let alone rarely. But he loved that he was changing and didn't have to prove anything to anyone and or please anyone. As he finally turned the light on, he grabbed himself a pair of clean boxers, socks, jeans and a maroon button up shirt. He then headed into the bathroom that was off to the right of his living room/bedroom, closing the door behind him. 

The older man turned the shower on, while slipping out of his pajama pants and boxers as he then began to trim his grayish beard up, cleaning his mess up afterwards and jumped in the shower. He stood there with the water hitting his curly hair and dripping down his naked body relaxing the best way he could. He grabbed the _Head & Shoulders _ that he bought at the store, lathering his dark curly hair getting the knots out the best he could and rinsed it all out. Following the shampoo he grabbed the body wash and the washcloth and started washing himself. Not paying attention he began washing his member in a _in and out_ motion and began moaning out. He realized he was daydreaming of the tall, muscled man with dark/blondish hair and dark blue eyes from the bar last night. When he quickly realized that he was about to _get off_ at the thought of a man, he stopped gasping and his member throbbing under the hot water. 

Pushing the thoughts out of his mind, he rinsed the soap off his body, he turned the water off, grabbing his towel. He wrapped the large one around his waist as he stepped out of the shower, wiping the mirror off and turned the fan on. He looked at himself in the mirror trying to figure out who the man he was staring at was. He had only been with Lori, had never even looked at a man or thought of a man the way he did about _Daryl_.

As he then took his hand through his hair, exhaling a deep breath that came from the pits of his stomach, he then took his comb and picked through his curly hair, as he always did back in his old life, gently spraying some hairspray. He then took his towel off around his waist as he finished drying himself off, then began getting dressed. As he finished he brushed his teeth and tossed his clothes in the hamper, and headed upstairs.

"Mornin.." He smiled towards his son and mother who was doing dishes. 

"Good morning, my handsome little man." 

"Ma, stop. I am not little anymore.." Rick blushed.

"Well, you'll always be my little man." His mother smiled.

"Carl, you bout ready for school?"

"Yeah, I thought I'd help Grammy out with the dishes. Are you picking me up after school?" Carl turned and asked looking at his father pouring himself some coffee.

"It's friday, kid. It's your mother's weekend. So either she or Shane will pick you up.."

"But dad.. I don't wanna go to mom's anymore. I'm tired of going there. They barely pay attention to me.. and it's all about the new baby.."

"They don't pay attention to you?" 

"No, dad. They don't. I wouldn't make that up. Ever since mom got pregnant, it's the baby this and the baby that and this and that and what room it's going in and all this stupid bullshit and they just push me to the side.."

"I'll have a talk with them.."

"Dad.."

"What ?"

"You'll have a talk with them?"

"Yeah? What's wrong with having a talk with the people who spend every other weekend with my kid?"

"Uhh, cause it's mom and dickface.."

"Carl. That's enough. I know you're lashing out, but your mouth is gon' get you in trouble and your grammy is gon' put soap in your mouth if you don't stop."

"Ugh! Dad.."

"Carl, I'll handle it. I promise you."

"Fine, let's go.."

Rick put the rest of his coffee in his _on the go coffee cup_ and headed out the door, following Carl to his new car that he got a loan out for. As the both got in the car, Carl put his seat belt on and then Rick headed towards the school, pulling in the drop off lane. 

"Dad.. I don't know what is goin' on. But, I just don't want to go to moms again. She's replacing me with the new kid. It's gonna be the kid over me and I was her first born. It's all about the baby and Shane.." Carl sighed as the line progressed.

"I doubt that, Carl. I mean, Your mom and I brought you into this world and we love you. I love you with all my heart. You were the best thing that I've ever did, and I am so sorry about pulling you through the divorce and your mother cheating while you were down the hall and having to hear all that. But I'm not going to be the parent who sits here with his kid and talks shit about the mother of his kid. I can't do that. Even though she made mistakes, along with Shane, I did too. I didn't cheat, but I didn't show her anything for a long while and yeah, it was the wrong way she did things, son, but I am going to be here for you, and I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much that it hurts." Rick looked down at his son who was crying softly next to him.

"I love you too, dad. Just as much.. You're literally the best dad in the world."

Rick chuckled softly, "I'm your only dad.."

"You know what I mean.." Carl smiled rolling his eyes.

"Well, I'll see you Sunday. I'll drop your bag off at your mother's since I have to head that way anyways. I love you, son."

"I love you too." Carl said and jumped out of the car and walked in. Rick sat there for a second watching his son head into the school.

About a hour later, Rick arrived with a cup of coffee for Lori to be nice and knocked on his old front door waiting for it to be answered. As he stood there, Lori answered the door with a towel on her head as she obviously just got out of the shower.

"Good morning, Rick." She smiled softly with her green eyes, beaming.

"Morning, Lor." Rick faked a smile back.

"What can I do for you?"

"Look, is Shane here?"

"No. He went hunting early this morning."

"Okay, here it goes. I know you're pregnant with Shane's baby. I could care less about that. What I do care about is my son crying in my car on the way to school, feeling unloved by his own mother and his uhh, uncle I guess is the word Shane is? I don't even fucking know let alone care. But it is not okay, whatsoever that my son doesn't want to come to his mothers to spend time with her as he should be able to. He doesn't want to come because you and Shane have made it all about that baby and you making it about completely Shane. He doesn't feel welcome anymore, and feels like you do _not_ care about him.. It is not okay that I have to mend his broken heart because of how you're being to him. He is the best thing I ever did, whether you agree or not, is not my decision to make for you, BUT Lor.. It's not okay. Okay. It's just not okay.." Rick sighed and handed her the cup of coffee.

"Rick, I love Carl with my whole heart. I do not put him on the _back burner_ , I care about him more than I do about myself. Just because Shane and I are expecting a baby doesn't change that Carl is my first born and my first love, besides you. I made many mistakes and I regret them, terribly... but Carl is not a mistake.. and neither were you. I don't want to make things worse with the baby and Shane, but Shane and I are in love, and I'm wanting Carl to experience the love of another man to be here. I want him to love his half-brother or sister.. I want him to be my son that I raised. He's pulling away from me and Rick, I don't know how to fix anything.. especially mending my 12 year old's broken heart.. I seriously don't know what to do.." Lori spoke and started sobbing through her words.

"Lor.. I'm not here to make you feel worse about any of it. I am not here to make you cry or feel like shit okay. I am here for the concern of my kid. I am here, despite him not wanting me here, I am here because I am deeply concerned with how things are going here. It's not going to be easy with Shane in the picture. Carl having to look at the man who tore a wedge between his parents and tearing his life up and him having to adjust to divorced parents and a new brother or sister.. Lor, it's not goin to be easy but I know you'll figure it out. You need to engage him in something. Maybe whenever you find out the sex of your new kid, you could paint the room and have him help you.. I mean you can't force him to be the sweet kid we had. He's gonna have to have time to come around. He's a kid himself and to be apart of this.. and witnessing the divorce and just everything that the kids' been through.. I can't help but take half of the blame. I am at fault too. I just... I am concerned.." Rick sighed leaning against the railing.

"Rick.. Why are you.. helping me with advice?"

"Because, whether we like it or not.. we are co-parenting here. We are both parents to Carl and for our son to have the best outcome in life, we need to be on the same page.. And, I do care about you.. Maybe not the way I used to or love you the way I used to.. but, I do care and love you in a different way.. and my kid comes first.."

Lori sighed and wiped her eyes as she looked at the gorgeous tall man in front of her with the trimmed grey beard with the curly hair. 

"Rick, I'm sorry.. For everything."

"I know.. I know.. I am too." Rick inhaled and exhaled fairly quick and kissed his ex-wifes forehead. "The coffee's good. I have to run. Ma needs me to help her with a few things."

"Your living with your mother?"

"Yeah.. Dad passed and she can't do the _manly _things that Dad used to.." Rick turned on his heels as he faced Lori from the pavement.__

__"Tell her I said hello?"_ _

__"Sure." Rick faintly smiled and headed back to his car, climbing into it as he drove off, not looking back, for the fact of the pain._ _

__\-------------------------------------------------_ _

__Rick took another shower after mowing his mother's lawn, planting the flowers she bought, moving the furniture around for the fifth time. He then finished the dishes, did the laundry, and made her dinner as she relaxed while knitting her a new blanket._ _

__"Ma, dinner."_ _

__"Coming, son."_ _

__As she reached the kitchen she smiled as he was dressed in dark denim jeans with a gray button up shirt and his cowboy boots._ _

__"Smells delicious."_ _

__"Thanks."_ _

__"Sit.. eat with me."_ _

__"Can't. I have plans tonight, Ma."_ _

__"What time are you going to be home?"_ _

__"Honestly, I don't know. Don't wait up, Ma.."_ _

__She looked at him like a mother would when expecting something and he smiled._ _

__"Oh, Lor said _"Hello"_ , Told her I'd tell you.."_ _

__"Hm. Thanks."_ _

__"Ma, be nice. We have to still be in each other's life cause of my kid."_ _

__"I know. But I don't have to like her.."_ _

__"You never did!"_ _

__"I know."_ _

__Rick chuckled lightly to himself as he kissed his mother's cheek, grabbing his keys and headed towards the bar. As he pulled into the gravel parking lot, just like the other night, he got out and walked inside towards the bar, sitting at his open seat._ _

__"Mr. Grimes.." Carol smiled._ _

__"Mrs. Peltier.." Rick smirked._ _

__"730, on the dot.."_ _

__"Carol.." Rick smiled, "It's not like that.."._ _

__"Uh-huh. Malt Whiskey?"_ _

__"Yes, please."_ _

__Carol set the glass in front of the older gentleman and poured him his drink. He sat there sipping at it, and kept looking around the bar for the gentleman who pretty much asked him out, and didn't seem to find him.. anywhere. As he was now two whiskey's down, and starting his third, the juke-box began to play a song that he again, knew all too well.. "Midnight Train To Memphis.." He sat there singing to himself and he suddenly heard a voice in his ear softly singing along as well. Making Rick jump, he turned his head to see the tall, muscled man with dark blue eyes behind him smiling so goofily but yet so soothing to his soul that he motioned for the young man to sit next to him, ordering himself another whiskey and the younger man a beer._ _

__"Well, good evening, Sheriff Grimes."_ _

__"Good evening, Mr. Dixon." Rick smiled as they clinked the glass and beer bottle together and sat in silence, listening to the _Kid Rock_ song that played in the background._ _


	3. Home Alone Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick has few too many Malt Whiskeys and buries his life into the handsome man next to him, drinking his Budweiser ;)

Sitting there working on his third Malt Whiskey, Rick turned towards the dark eyed man drinking on his second Budweiser. 

"So, where's your brother?"

"Ahh, he had a woman o'er tonight.."

"So, you're alone tonight?"

"Sure is.. Told you I's here damn near every night.."

"730-ish."

"Ya remembered? So you were here at 730 for what exactly?"

"Oh, I got bored, decided to come here.."

Daryl nodded as if he believed him and chuckled and finished his beer.

"Carol, give 'im another. Put it on my tab.."

Carol smiled at the brewing of them and brought the beer over to the young man.

"Thanks man."

"You're welcome."

"So, what's your story, Sheriff Deputy, Rick Grimes?" Daryl asked while smirking at the older man.

"I'm sure ya don't wanna know. Might make you run for the hills."

"Nah, we're all fucked up one way or another. Plus, I's a good listener."

Rick sighed, fiddling with his ring, debating on dwelling on the past.

"You're married? You're uh, twiddlin' with that ring.. have been fer like.. the last 15 minutes."

"Divorced. Two months now." 

"Ahh. I's sorry to hear that."

"It's alright. I caught her cheatin' ass with my _bestfriend_. We have a son together. He's with them this weekend.. She's expecting his baby.."

"Oh.. Shit..." Daryl cleared his throat then tipped his beer back into a gulp.

"Yeah. It's uh, cool. I guess. I have sole custody of my kid. So things are good."

"Sure is.. What about you and the friend?"

"Well, we work together. He's a cop too. We're actually both suspended because we got into a fight over pulling someone over and I punched him.." Rick smirked and start laughing at Daryl's reaction.

Daryl sat there not knowing how to react except his mouth dropping. "Shit, so you went rogue?" He then laughed and patted the man's shoulder.

"Somethin' like that. Not sure if I uhh.. will have my job back." Rick smirked then nodded to Carol to fill his cup back up.

"Slow down there, officer. I'm gonna have to carry your drunk ass home and strip ya.. I can tell you don't handle yer liquor well." Daryl laughed watching him from the corner of his eye.

"I'm good. I can do more than you think I can."

"I'm not going to bet you on that. Apparently, I hear that it's illegal around these parts.." Daryl smirked as he caught the older man's eyes.

"Only if you get caught."

"Well, there is a Sheriff's Deputy sitting next to me. It's probably not the wisest decision to make."

"The Sheriff's Deputy is off the clock, officially." Rick grinned cheesily and gulped down the rest of the whiskey.

"Hmm. You promised me a game of darts, officer.." Daryl flirtatiously grinned back at the officer.

Rick laughed and choked on the whiskey left in the back of his throat and nodded to Carol to fill his drink up again. As she finished he stood up and wobbled on his feet almost collapsing into Daryl's arms.

"Officer, I am sure that this being a small ass town, that your community wouldn't like to see you wobbling on yer feet, barely able to stand." 

"Hey, now, I am fine. See!" Rick laughed and began do a short dance as he almost fell over a table.

"Rick..?" 

"Oh fuck.." Rick sighed as he knew the voice.

"Rick.. Are you okay?"

"I am fine. Thank you. Now, leave me alone."

"Rick, I can't let you in public like this."

"Shane, I said that I am fine. I do not need you to be the _knight in shining armor_ I am fine. Why aren't you at home with my ex wife and son?"

"She uh.. kicked me out for the night I guess."

Rick stifled a chuckle.

"Yeah, something about needing one on one time with Carl and needing space with me.. so uhh, yeah."

"Yeah, don't care.. At least she finally listened to something I said after 14 years of marriage.." 

"You.. stopped by?"

"I'm allowed to when it has to do with my kid."

Shane stood there realizing where this was heading and he backed away, and looked at the tall _handsome_ man standing off to the left of Rick with a beer in his hand. 

"Shane.." Shane offered his hand, "You are?"

"None of your business. We're leaving now" Rick cut Shane off.

"Daryl. A friend." Daryl smiled politely through the urge of wanting to bust Shane's head in.

"He's a great man. More honor than I can ever speak about myself. I look up to him, he has shown me exactly what it means to be a man and.."

"Yeah, I don't care about your past with him, Shane. I am his friend and I will learn what kind of man he is.. all by myself. Now.. excuse us." Daryl nodded and guided Rick to the dart board as they then began to throw darts, drunkenly.

About 6 Malt Whiskey's down and 4 beers lately, both men gave up at the darts and sat at the table just talking and enjoying each other's company.

"Tell me about yourself, Daryl." Rick smiled

"Uhh, I live by myself in my old childhood home. My brother and I, Merle, inherited our father's automobile shop after he died, and so we co-own that. I am a single bachelor with a bachelor pad that loves nothing but to get laid." Daryl laughed as he was joking about the last part.

"Ahh, must be nice, getting that much ass. I ain't had none since like for a year or so.."

"Hmm." Daryl smirked and finished his beer, tossing it in the barrel behind him not looking.

"That was.. extraordinary." Rick smiled in _awe_

"The barrel never moves.." Daryl laughed as he revealed his secret.

"Cheater."

"Nah, just observant." He smiled.

"Me too."

"How observant?"

"How much?"

"Enough.."

They stared into each other's eyes. Rick feeling his heart beat faster and harder against his chest, he then jumped at the sound of Carol.

"Boys, the bar's closed. Been closed for like a hour. Time for y'all to head out."

"On our way" Daryl smiled up at the older lady and began standing up as he grabbed his black leather jacket, throwing it over his shoulder and helped the older man out of the bar.

"Which one is yours?"

"The black one.."

Daryl smiled then walked the man to his car. 

"Are you sure you're okay enough to drive?"

"I am alright to drive. Shouldn't, but I'll do it. My mother is expecting me."

"You live with your mother?"

Rick stood there like a deer in headlights.

"Yeah. I had no where to go for me and my son."

"I see.. 'ts okay. I gets it."

"A turn off I take it?"

"Well, wasn't sure what this was. I just thought about bein yer friend.. and then I got to know you."

"And?"

"Yer drunk."

"I'm not drunk.."

"Uh huh. What color are my eyes?"

"Ehh, green?"

Daryl laughed, "I been looking at you all night and you say, 'green'.. what the fuck.."

"Ask me tomorrow?"

"We will see."

"I planned on goin' fishin' tomorrow. I'd like for you to join me where there isn't any liquor involved."

Daryl smiled, "we will see dear."

Rick smirked as he was leaning against his car.

"You gon' kiss me?" Rick looked into the younger man's eyes.

"No. No. Because you don't know my eye color." Daryl teased.

"Awhh, come on. I'm mentally impaired because of the whiskey. That's not my fault.." Rick whined playfully.

Making Daryl laugh, cutely, Rick took his chance. Pulling the younger man in front of towards him. Inches away, Rick inhaled the scent of Daryl.

"Rick?" Daryl questioned listening to the older man inhale.

"What?"

"What are you doing?"

"Smelling.. you.."

"Smellin' me? What... why?" Daryl stuttered and chuckled.

"I like the way you smell. You're intoxicating to me."

Daryl shook his head at his horny friend in front of him.

"You obviously ain't been laid for a long while because you're hitting on a gay guy.. and I'm sure that you're not even familiar with the anatomy and what to do in that predicament.. let alone being able to handle me.." Daryl chuckled.

"Let me be the judge of me and what I think.." Rick softened his gaze and bit his lower lip.

"Rick, we'll talk more tomorrow, when we're sober and when you are in your element of fishin.."

"You're gon' join me?" Rick asked enthused.

"Perhaps." Daryl smiled at Rick who was acting like a kid in a candy store.

"I'll see you around 11 in the mornin?" 

"Sure. Where at?"

"Hmm.." Rick contemplated.

"Meet me at the shop. We'll take my truck."

"Okay. What do I search in my GPS?"

"Oh good lord, it's a straight shot after you turn right at the light exiting _King County_.. You turn right, follow the road all the way until the road T's. You then will turn left, and then right and my shop is literally right there."

"Ok.. okay.." Rick smiled. "Tomorrow, your shop at 11."

"Goodnight, Sheriff Deputy Rick Grimes."

"G'night, Mr. Dixon."

Rick smiled watching the younger man troll his way to the big truck parked in the back and watched him drive off and honked. Standing there for a moment, he then got in his car and went on home, quietly heading into the house, he went down to the basement and collapsed on the bed, setting the alarm for ten-thirty in the morning. He slowly drifted off to sleep smelling his gray shirt, as he was breathing in Daryl's scent.


	4. The First Cut Is The Deepest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl go fishin' :)

Rick woke up with a clobbering headache at the sound of his alarm going off. He groaned swinging his legs off the bed in one swift motion, pressing down on his temples trying to relieve the headache. He could hear the laughter of Carl in his head at how he was hungover and at this point he was very thankful that his son was with his mother this weekend. He sat there, wondering if his mother heard him come in, he tried to be as quiet as mouse sneaking in like he used to when he was a teenager but with him being drunk off his ass, he wasn't sure if he was that quiet. The thought made him chuckle to himself until it hurt his head. He sighed, standing up to go turn the light on, making an attempt to not run into the coffee table, but of course he ran into it every single damn morning. 

"Son of a bitch. Damn it!" He groaned holding his other foot.

He then finished his task turning the light on, grabbing his boxers, jeans and a green t-shirt out of the closet and made it another task to shower. As he grabbed his towels from the rack he placed them on the back of the toilet with his clothes on the closed toilet seat. He turned the shower on waiting for it warm up and as he waited he took his hands through his medium length black curly hair and grabbed his toothbrush to brush his teeth. As soon as he finished and the bathroom was steamed up he promptly undressed, tossing the clothes in the hamper as he then stepped into the shower. He stood there allowing the scorching water to hit him from his hair down his body. Although, it was probably too hot and made his whole body instantly red, he loved the water that hot which is probably why he and Lori never showered together. He then grabbed the _Head and Shoulders_ and washed the smell of cigarettes out of his hair and tried to detangle the curls which he cursed so much but Lori never allowed him to cut his hair unless it got out of control. After rinsing the shampoo out, letting it run down his naked body, he grabbed his washcloth and the soap he got down at the town grocery store and squirted the soap on the washcloth and began to wash himself not slowly, but slow enough to enjoy it. After rinsing all the soap off and then re-rinsing his hair, he turned the water off, grabbing his towel and wrapped it around his waist as he stepped out. He took the other towel to dry his hair as he then dried the top part of his body with it.

As he was now completely dried off he stepped into his clean boxers and jeans. He then applied his deodorant, pulling his shirt over his head. He then began to comb his curls out, knowing that they'll just curl back up he let it be as he grabbed his boots and sat on the side on the bed putting his socks on then pulling the cowboy boots on and grabbed his watch as he ran up the stairs.

"Morning, son. Grab ya a cup of coffee."

"I can't, Ma. I got' run."

"Where to?"

"Goin' fishing with a friend."

"Shane?"

"Oh fuck no, Ma."

"Rick.." She sternly said giving him her _mother_ look.

"Sorry. No, we met a couple days ago. Could be hitting it off. Might be my new best friend.." He smiled perplexingly.

"Oh. Okay. Well, have fun. I'll see you tonight?"

"Yes, Ma. I promise, tonight we will do whatever you want to do."

"Carl called, by the way."

"Is everything okay? he didn't call my cell.."

"He misses you. But, said to tell you thank you for talking to his mother."

Rick smiled as the accomplishment that he and Lori finally had done in 14 years of marriage.

"Alright, thank you. I love you. I'll be home later."

"Love you too, little man."

Rick rolled his eyes laughing and went out the front door, locking it behind him as he then went to the garage grabbing his dad's old fishing gear and put it in the trunk/back seat as he then got in and drove out to Dary's body shop. He pulled up and looked around for anyone he knew and then decided to get out. He stood there in his green t-shirt and dark denim jeans and boots looking might fine as hell and slowly approached the bay of the shop.

"Holy shit! Officer Friendly! What are you doing here!?" Merle grinned, wearing a black tank-top on and grease over him.

"Name's Rick. You must be Merle, Daryl's brother?" Rick timidly smiled, reaching his hand out to shake the even older man's hand.

"Yup. So, what can I do for you, Officer Friendly.?"

"Why do you keep calling me that?" Rick quietly laughed and studied Merle.

"Because, officers ain't as nice and whatever it is with you that has my baby brother in sqwabble." 

"A _sqwabble_.. not sure what you mean by that.."

"He's not smiled this much since our father passed.. stupid bastard that man was.. but uhh... you didn't hear that from me. So what are you doing here?"

"Daryl and I are goin' fishin' today.. or at least I thought we was. Can't seem to find him." Rick looked around again at the bay area.

"Awwwhhhhh! Daryleena's got a date with the _Officer_ today. Too cute!" Merle laughed teasing him.

"Not sure that it could be considered a _date_. We're friends.. hanging out." 

"Ohh, yeah.. the whole, _'Just Friends'_ line. The best one out there. Tsk. Tsk. Look, Mr. Rick Grimes, My baby brother normally don't do all this, and meet up with someone the next night at the bar again and or really care if they gots home alright. Or let alone, agree to _'go out'_ with such person the next day. So there's something about you that's got him wrapped around you.. I's just saying.. be careful with him, k?" 

Rick nodded and suddenly jumped at the feel of someone pinching his right asscheek. 

"Ain't that was today is? A date..?" Daryl chuckled as he heard Rick laugh, lightly but timidly.

"I don't know. Is it?"

Rick and Daryl looked at one another as Merle then got both their attention.

"Daryleena, don't worry that perty little head of yours. The shop with be _just_ fine. We're fairly slow today and enjoy yer day and time with this, _Officer Friendly_. Take your time. I promise, we'll be alright."

"Merle, it's a shop. If I's didn't trust you alone then I wouldn't have told Rick to come here for us to go fishin.." 

"Bye, Darleena!" Merle smiled and patted his shoulder, turning on his heels and headed back to the office.

Rick and Daryl then headed out of the bay and towards Rick's car.

"So.. you got a spot?" Daryl flirtatiously smiled.

"Well, there's one.. but, I know that Shane still goes out there sometimes.."

"Ohh, well that just won't do. Don't worry, Mr. Inexperienced, I have a place. Merle and I go there all the time."

"Well, that's just great." Rick winked without realizing it.

"Well, before we go any further here, Mr. Sheriff's Deputy, I need to ask you a very important question.."

"What's that, Mr. Dixon?"

"Well, someone told me to ask you when we were both sober, and so I'm wondering what color my eyes are.." Daryl smirked looking at the older man who was cheesing like a seventh grader at a dance.

"They're.. uhh" Rick stuttered watching Dary's expression.

"They're what?"

"Dark blue.." Rick smirked and grabbed the fishing gear out of the trunk and back seat handing a pole to the younger man.

"Damn. Was hoping to stump you.."

"They're hard to forget.."

"Apparently they're easy to forget, Mr. Grimes. 

"How do you figure?" Rick flirted back.

"Uhh, cause you said _'green'_ last night when you were smellin' me like a dog.."

"Well, who's to say that I wasn't just playin' around with you.." Rick stopped in his tracks gazing down at the younger man.

"I guess, I'll never know then.." Daryl smiled while he felt himself blushing and they then walked towards the big black truck.

"You smelt me last night.." Daryl chuckled.

"Smelled my shirt all night.. Fell asleep to the smell of your cologne"

Daryl climbed into his truck after helping Rick put the gear in the bed and sat there making a 'oh' face, not too sure what to say next.

"That's kinda.."

"Shut it."

"I was gon' say.. kinda cute.."

"How so? I am grown man with a kid, divorced, a car he'll never pay off and living in my mother's basement.."

"Well, just because all those are facts of yer life, don't mean that what I witness and think ain't the facts for me. So I's think you smelling yer shirt and falling asleep to the scent of me.. is adorable cause.. well, yeah.." 

Rick sat there, rolling his window down for air as he watched the younger man start the truck and drive to the fishing spot. Making awkward glances at each other, Daryl finally parked the car at the lake and jumped out of the truck with Rick following.

"Alright, so, we got 'verything right?"

"Yep" Rick smiled and sat down on the grass as he began to bait his hook.

Daryl followed behind him as he stood next to the seated man on the ground.

"Hey Rick?"

"Yea, Daryl?"

"I need to be honest with you about something.."

"Okay?"

"I'm gay.. and I like you.. I liked you and wanted you since the first night our eyes locked in that bar.."

"I know you're gay.. and I know you like me.."

"But.. do you feel like this is something for you to pursue? I mean are you gay? Straight? Bi.. like I need to know.."

"Daryl, I've only ever been with my ex wife.. that was 14 years of marriage.. I have not had the chance to really 'shop around' and let alone attempt to get to know. But if we're being honest, that night I seen you, I was instantly attracted to you as well. Which is odd because I've never been attracted to a man before.."

"Ahh."

"I'm trying to tell you, yes.. this is something I'd like to pursue.."

Daryl looked down at the older man who was studying him and they locked eyes just like the night they first met. He then smiled, sitting next to the older man and they kept throwing their lines back into the water, hoping to catch something.

"What about yer kid?"

"I'll tell him when things are more clear between us.. I don't wan' bring him into this when I don't know if we're truly gon' be together the way we just admitted."

"I understand. 'ts okay.." Daryl smiled, "But, I can see if there's a chance right?"

"Depends on what 're talking about.."

Daryl smiled sitting the pole on the ground and pulled Rick's head gently towards his. He gazed at the older man who's eyes were not leaving his, and gently pressed his lips against Ricks. They sat there, leaving simple romantic kisses as Rick then allowed Daryl to slip his tongue in his mouth. Daryl smirked and sucked on the older man's tongue for a second as he then dragged his teeth on it, inhaling the moan let out by the man who he thought was 'an angel'. 

"Woahh." Rick smiled.

"Yeah. How's that?"

"Extraordinary."

"Hm. That's a big word fer me."

Rick chuckled at Daryl's cuteness and brushed the hair out of his face, looking into his eyes.

"Beautiful.. Dark.. Blue eyes.."

"Yer learning." Daryl teased. "How'd that feel kissing 'nother man?"

"Honestly, it felt just right.. Perfect." Rick smiled softly.

Daryl smiled back at the older man as they then went back to fishin'.


	5. It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Daryl get into their first disagreement :(

Rick found a three bedroom house for Carl and himself on the outskirts of King County. Daryl and Rick went _house shopping_ since they're pretty steady in their relationship. They both settled upon a white house with blue shutters, a fenced in back yard and a foyer that led to the spacious living room, dining room and the kitchen as it was off to the back of the dining room.  
Due to it being Lori's weekend and Carl's birthday, Rick wanted to get the house all done and was coaxed into getting Carl a puppy; although, he knee the puppy was more for Daryl then Carl. Rick and Daryl packed the truck up and both headed to the house. 

"So, what room are we doing first?" 

"Uh, well, we gotta' unpack the truck first"

"Beds first?"

Rick nodded then went to unlock the front door, propping it open, as he then went back to the truck to help Daryl who already had the bed of the truck down waiting for him. As he then helped Daryl get his king sized bed off the truck they then brought it in and down the hall to the master bedroom, sitting it to the side so they could have room for his dresser, box spring, and bed frame in there.

"What's next? " 

"My dresser, box spring, bed frame. Then Carl's bedroom thangs. Then we have to set up my living room when we go to get the new couches."

"And then?" Daryl smirked 

"Then we unpack all my dishes and get the house put together.." 

"And then?"

"I order pizza and we get the beer while we are out, we will then watch a movie and cuddle.." Rick smiled while pushing his lovers hair out of his facr. 

"That sounds nice. What about the puppy?" Daryl smiled sweetly. 

"We will get _your_ puppy tomorrow.."

"But I want it now!" Daryl playfully pouted.

Rick smirked at the muscled man as he gently rubbed his bearded cheek and closed his eyes as he planted his moist lips on his lovers and was instantaneously pulled into Daryls arms. Parting his lips giving the go ahead and moaned lightly at the feeling of Daryls tongue as he massaged his. 

"When are we going to be seen in public?" Daryl sighed as his forehead was pressed against Ricks. 

"Daryl we are seen out together. What are you talking about?" 

"We are as friends, Rick. We are more than friends behind closed doors. Christ, we ain't even fucked yet. God, I want to walk in the bar, the grocery store even your mother's with my arms around you! I'm tired of hiding my feelings and the fact that we have been together for a while now.." 

"Daryl, I told you, I have to think about Carl and what this will do to him."

"What about everyone else?"

"The only one I worry about is my son. Can we please talk about this later? It's gonna rain here soon."

"Yeah, sure." Daryl mumbled removing himself from Rick's embrace, heading out to finish grabbing the boxes. 

As they finished bringing the boxes in to the correct rokms, Rick then looked at Daryl as he helped unpack the dishes to wash them. It then began pouring down when Daryl began washing them, rinsing them and out them in the strainer. Rick wrapped his arms around Daryl and kissed his neck. 

"Daryl, I'm sorry." He muttered as his lips was against his neck. 

" 'ts alright. Look, it's getting late. I'm gon' head home. We will get the rest tomorrow." Daryl said resisting Rick as dried his hands, pulling his keys out of his pocket. 

"Daryl, it's storming. Please stay." Rick whispered, rubbing Daryls arm. 

Daryl then grabbed Rick's hand. 

"I can't. Goodnight. Daryl faintly smiled turning on his heels going towards the front door. 

Rick followed fast. 

"Daryl!" Rick sighed 

"Yeah?" 

"You're coming back tomorrow?" 

"As far as I know." 

"Okay.." Rick stood there awkwardly. 

"If I don't show, then Merle will be here with my truck" 

"Are you breaking up with me?" Rick out his head down. 

"Rick, I dont.. I don't know. I need time okay? I promise that you will get your couches and kitchen table tomorrow.." 

Rick raised his head looking into Daryls eyes as they both teared up. Daryl reached over rubbing his hand on Rick's trimmed bearded cheek. 

"Rick, I'll get in touch with you okay?" 

"There's gonna be a housewarming party sunday.. I hope you'll be there.." 

"I love you, Sherrifs Deputy, Rick Grimes.." 

Rick inaudibly stood there watching his man slowly walk out of his house. After a few moments, Rick finished un packing as he cried til he threw up. He laid down, completely exhausted, and drifted off to sleep clutching his pillow, wishing that it was Datyl.


	6. I'm Comin Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is put to the test when his man shows up.

Sunday rolled around and Rick hadn't heard anything from Daryl. He nor Merle showed up, so he tried Abraham and he couldn't help. So which left Shane. He hated having to ask him to help, but.due to him practically being Carl's step father he had to still be apart of his life.  
Shane helped him then left per Rick's request. He sat there drinking a beer in his new house with a puppy thst he didn't want but kept it for Carl. Not hearing from Daryl, he hadnt showered or kept his beard trimmed. He would start to text him but deleted it. He'd dial his number but not press the call button.  
Before he realized it, it was almost time for the party. Carl was gonna be there in a hour and he had nothing, forcing him to call upon Lori and Shane, again. 

"Hello?" Shane answered 

"Shane.." Rick sighed. 

"Hey man, Lori and I are about to head out to bring Carl home.."

"Oh, alright.."

"What's up?" Shane questioned

"Nothing. Why do you assume something is up?" 

"Cause I know you. Talk."

"My house party starts in a hour and a half and I have nothing and I need to shower.."

"Ahh. I see. I'll stop and get the beer, cheese, crackers and the whole _She-bang_ .."

"Thanks.."

"Anything specific you need?"

"Toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo, dish soap, body wash, razor, shaving cream, laundry soap, pop, ice and I think that's it.."

"Alright, Lor wrote it all down. Be there in about 45 minutes." 

"Thank you, Shane"

"Least I can do"

"See ya later, brother"

"Roger that."

Rick sat there in disbelief that he called Shane his _brother_. Apparently the _break up_ is truly fucking with him. It was a _break up_ right? Regardless, Rick quickly showered as he then dressed in his dark denim jeans, baby blue button up shirt and his cowboy boots. He lit a candle in the kitchen as he heard Shane and Lori arguing about whst she should and shouldn't be lifting as she was almost ready to _pop_.

Rick then held the door open for Carl and Lori then went to help Shane. 

"Hey"

"Rick" Shane nodded, "house is beautiful, man."

"Thanks"

"No problem. So, is he here?" 

"He who?"

"Fella from the bar.."

"His name is Daryl. And no? Why would he be?" Rick asked grabbing the beer and soda as Shane grabbed the bags. 

Carl and Lori were exploring the house as they found the dog. 

"What is that?"

"Well, Lori, it's got four legs, a nose, a tail, a tongue, ears and eyes. I think down here its called a _dog_." Rick chuckled rolling his eyes. 

"Smart ass" Lori whispered. 

"We got a dog?" 

"Happy birthday, son" 

"I love it!" 

"Good!" Rick smiled hugging his son. 

"So's how about you two go play with the dog?" Shane said looking at Lori. 

"Alright" Lori smiled following Carl outside. 

"I think we both know _why_ Daryl would be here.."

"Shane, please." Rick sighed. 

"Look, just because things happened doesn't mean I don't care." 

"I.. I ain't heard from him. We got into a fight. Said he'd get ahold of me but ain't." Rick pouted as he put the beer and soda in the fridge. 

"So.. you're uhhh . Gay?"

"No! I mean, I don't know. I still like women, but I like Daryl. Love him is more correct. He's the only _guy_ that I've ever felt this way about.."

"Hmm. Okay. So what caused the fight?" Shane asked as he accepted the beer that Rick offered.

"Where do I even start?" Rick mumbled then gulped at his beer watching his ex wife, pregnant by his best friend, and his son. 

"Maybe you could start from the beginning?" 

"From finding you and Lori? Getting suspended? Us going back to work? Or the beginning of Daryl and I?" 

"I choose door number 4. I, myself, don't want to rehash the past anymore."

Rick sat across from him at the kitchen table. He pressed hard on the bridge of his nose and sighed 

"Rick.."

"Alright"

Rick sat there and poured everything out to Shane on every detail on his relationship with Daryl. From the moment they first met. Their first date. First kiss. Their many dates after that. Rick staying the night at his house. Daryl meeting his mother. Then the fight from Friday and what it was about and then he ended his _confession_ on it being Sunday. 

"Oh, hell. Rick.. not to take anyone's side here.. but you have a point about Carl. But hes got a point at yall being together for how ever long you said and yall aren't even being seen as a couple? It's not nomal. Like especially if you care and love him. It's not fair for him to be investing his life, heart and time and he can't even take ya out to dinner or walk main street holding your sweaty hands.."

"Shane, it's not even really about that"

"Then tell me what it's _really_ about.." 

"Ugh! I'm the Sheriff's Deputy. I'm a father. I am divorced and every one in King County knows me and looks at me like I'm some kind of leader.. Carl.. Carl would resent me. Lori would take me back to court to prove that I'm unfit. And you know how our police force treated Leon when he came out. Hell, look at how I even treated him. I will not make it to being Sheriff if I am outed. Rather, branded as _gay_."

"Jesus, Rick. Have you even tried communicating with him?" 

Rick shook his head, no. 

"That's your issue, brother. You _have_ to talk.. _communicate_. You can't expect _everyone_ to be like me and read your mind. I tried to get that through your thick head when you and Lori were first having issues."

"Shane, I don't know how to talk about all those things.."

"You just did, brother. That's progress"

"To you! You're not Lor or Daryl.."

"Look, between you and I, Lori loved you and always will. She regrets it but oddly after everything she's happy. We are having a girl and the name we picked is _Judith_ . I don't know about Daryl. But he didn't say the words, "I think it's best we're friends." 

"Shane.." 

"No, don't talk. Listen. I know you. I know what kind of man you are. I know what you think you heard. But, he didn't say that. He asked for some time. Time to get things in check.."

"Hes.. I invited him tonight." 

"And he will show.."

"How do you know?"

Shane shook his head becoming frustrated as he then rubbed head. 

"God, Grimes, I know because he didn't break up with you."

"Then why didn't he or Merle show up yesterday?"

"I can't answer that. I just don't have the answer to that. That's something you're gonna have to ask him when he shows up.."

"Shane.."

"No problem." Shane smirked knowing Rick was going to thank him. 

About a hour later everyone began to show up. Carl was showing everyone his new puppy which made Rick smile. He and Shane were constantly making sure the drinks were cold and everyone was enjoying themselves. 

After a few hours the the party was dying down as people kept on showing up. At that time, Rick and Lori were discussing Carl and his vacation breaks when the doorbell rang, excusing himself from Lori. Rick grabbed another beer from Carol and went to answer the door. 

Slowly, Rick opened the door looking into the dark blue eyed, blonde/brown haired man. Giving a sheepish smile he allowed Daryl to come in. He handed him his beer grabbing another one and they were both silent, and making very awkward glances in the middle of the foyer, with loud laughing and talking on the background. 

Rick was the first one to break the silence. 

"Daryl," Rick muttered.

"Rick.." Daryl whispered gazing into Rick's baby blue eyes.


	7. Love Me Like You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick tells everyone about him and Daryl :)

Rick and Daryl stood there in the foyer staring at one another as the chatter kept growing louder. 

"We should go talk" Daryl mumbled, urging to get Rick alone. 

Rick inhaled deeply, afraid of the talk they were about to have. 

"Come on" Daryl whispered reaching for his hand, letting Rick grab it and they went out to Daryls truck. 

"Daryl, if you're gonna do it then please do it now." Rick whispered. 

"And what do you think I am going to do?" 

"Break up with me, which I admire your manliness to do it in person."

Daryl stepped back astonished of what he was hearing from Rick. 

"Is thst what you want?"

Rick shook his head _no_

"Then _why_ are you so determined that I'm breaking up with you?"

"Cause"

"Cause why, Grimes?"

"Cause you ain't got ahold of me. You nor Merle showed up and i never got the chance to explain things Friday after the fight. I understand if you want to be with someone that you want to be seen in public with. But you're right. I _am_ afraid of not only the judgement of Carl but everyone else."

"Rick, I didn't want to be right. I didn't show up because I was in meetings all day with Merle. He is buying the house from me. That's why he didn't show up either"

"Then _why_ didn't you call me ?"

"Because I didn't know where you and I stood.." 

Rick instantly teared up when Daryl paused. 

"Until I was laying in my bed without you next to me until I woke up and your curly hair wasn't in my face and until I realized that I would never hear about your day, about Carl. Or ever have your lips on mine. I love you, Rick"

"You.. love me?"

"I have since I first laid eyes on you"

Rick smiled as he looked at his lover. He then pulled Daryl into his muscular arms that pent rated through his blue button up shirt and instantly pressed his lips on Daryls. He then felt Daryl pressing himself more into Rick. As their kissing began to heat up, Rick broke away. 

"Oh.. hell" Rick breathlessly whispered. 

"Hm. Yer shuddering. I'd make love to you if yer house wasn't occupied"

Making Rick blush, Daryl then kissed him passionately. 

"Come on. There's something.I want to do" Rick chuckled grabbing hid lovers hand pulling him inside. 

As they were inside, Rick told everyone to gather in the living as he waited with Daryl standing next to him.

"Rick? What the hells you doin?"

Rick smirked at Daryl who was biting his thumbnail. 

"Alright, I gathered yall in here because I want to tell everyone.." Rick then smiled at Daryl.

"Fuck.." Daryl muttered under his breath 

"I want yall to know that Daryl and I are dating. We've been together for a while now. He's moving in with Carl and I.."

"Dad?"

"Yes son?"

"This is.. the _friend_ you hang out with while I'm at mom's?"

"I'm what?" Daryl choked on his beer.

"Yes Carl. This is Daryl. He more than my friend. I love him like I used to love your mother. And Daryl, I'd like you to move in and be apart.of my and Carl's life and be apart of our family."

"Rick? Carl doesn't even know this man. I don't want some stranger around my kid.." Lori then spoke up.

"Lori, I didn't protest when you moved Shane into my house. Please don't start something you can't finish"

"Rick! He is a stranger to our son where Shane wasnt! This is not the same scenario..!"

"Lori, he loves Daryl. Rick is a good man and a amazing father. And Daryl lover Rick. Should you be happy the way he is for us?"

"Uhhh, I wouldn't say _happy_ it's more of _acceptance_. Regardless, I have custody of Carl and you cannot tell me that I ain't allowed to ever be happy.."

"Rick, she's right. Carl doesn't know me. It's not smart right now. Even though I want nothing.more than to be apart of your family, I think it's best that Carl and I should build a relationship first." Daryl sighed as he watched Carl. 

"That's all I ask"

"Fine" Rick rolled hisneyes, "party is over."

"Rick, Communicate.. she's concerned." Shane.whispered as he lagged behind Lori. 

"Shane.."

"Rick, talk to Carl and Daryl. I'll handle her. She's pregnant and her hormoneS are out of wack.."

Rick followed them to the car and leaned down to Lori's open window.

"Lori, I love you and I care about you. You were my first love and now I have a second chance and I want that chance. I have accepted you and Shane. If I truly didn't think Daryl would be good around Carl, I wouldn't have pursued him. Please trust me in our sons well being"

"Okay"

"Okay?" Rick asked confused. 

"I know that when you love someone that you go all out and put that said person on a pedastool. But I also know that you love Carl more than anyone and anything and you have always put his well being first. So, I trust you"

"Thank you"

Lori nodded as she and Shane drove off leaving Rick to himself. 

He then slowly walked towards the house. As he reached the door he seen Daryl and Carl playing _Call Of Duty_ on his Xbox. He smiled watching them before entering the house, quietly.


	8. As Long As You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after the party, when Rick walks into the house after seeing Daryl and Carl through the window playing the xbox.

It was very late as Rick slipped in through the front door, emerging to the living room as he leaned against the door frame watching Daryl and Carl. He waited for a few minutes admiring that they were bonding over something, already.

"Carl, it's time for bed. You got school tomorrow, and I have to be at work.. Tell Daryl g'night and then brush your teeth." Rick urged Carl to get in bed so he could talk to Daryl. 

"Alright. Goodnight, Daryl. Maybe you can come over tomorrow and we can play some more and maybe the zombie part?"

"Yeah, we will see little man. Especially due to it being Monday, and it's up to yer dad." Daryl smiled sweetly at the young boy standing in front of him.

"Okay!" Carl exclaimed then ran down the hall and was brushing his teeth.

"Lemme tuck him in and then we'll talk?" Rick questioned in more of a 'telling' tone.

"Sure. I'll start cleaning up."

"You don't have to"

Daryl then gave Rick his _look_ as he was going to do what he wanted to anyways.

Rick smirked, rolling his eyes and lingered his fingers on the younger man's face as he quickly pulled away as he heard the water turn off.

"Be right back." 

"Okay."

"Okay." Rick smirked still standing there.  
"Rick.." Daryl smiled with his cheeks reddening.

Rick swiveled on his heels and sautered down the hall to Carl's room as he was already in his pajamas and in bed.

"Carl, I want to talk to you real quick."

"Dad, it's okay. He seems nice, and he cares a lot about you.." 

"Carl, that's not what I want to talk to you about.."

"Then what else would you want to talk to me about?" Carl asked baffled.

"Look, I want you to tell me what're feeling.."

"Dad, I ain't feeling nothing? I mean, I'm gonna be a big brother to my new baby sister. Mom and Shane are doing good and has changed since you had that talk. Uhh, and now you're with a guy? I mean it's fine. I have friends whose parents' are gay."

"What friends? and I'm not _Gay_ , Carl."

"Patrick. His parent's are gay.." 

"Ahh."

"Are you?"

"Carl, I just said I wasn't."

"But.. you're with a guy. You all but screwed in the living room tonight.."

"Carl! Enough with your mouth. It's getting out of control! Why are you talkin' like that for.. Do you talk to your mother and Shane like that?"

"I'm talking like that because I'm 10 years old! I am almost in middle school and you keep treating me like I'm a dumb 8 year old. I talk like that when Patrick, Sophia and I are all together! I mean.. Dad! You not only ruined your reputation with being with Daryl, but professing to it.. you ruined mine too! I am goin' to be the fuckin' laughing stock at school.." Carl hollered as he began to softly cry.

"Carl.." Rick rattled feeling Carl's pain.

"It's fine. I just.. it's confusing dad."

"I know.."

"No you don't."

"Carl, I do. I never would have imagined that I would have been married, become Sheriff's Deputy, Have a wonderful son, work so many hours, Lose interest in my wife and then catch her with my bestfriend, and then turn around and be in love with a guy. I would never have pegged that as my life when I was a young adult, starting out in life. But, all those happened, and all I can do is run with what is being handed to me.. and I would not trade you or Daryl for anyone. You are my first priority, and that's never gonna change. I would love for Daryl to be apart of our family. I would love for him to be living here with us, and have spaghetti Tuesday's on Wednesday's. I would love for us to all play family games in the living room on the coffee table.. or go camping together.. fishing together.. or pick out a lame movie like you and I do and we all make up our own dialogue and eat pizza.. that's the kind of life I want to give you, son. I want to show you that even though your parents are divorced, that your father is doing exceptionally well and can provide for you.. and show you that _true love_ does exist.. and that no matter your _preference_ later on.. I am going to accept it.." Rick stammered.

"Dad, you don't need to prove anything to me.. I am happy. I am happy for you no matter what. I just.. I like Daryl. I do. And I know that he loves you.. and I can tell that you love him."

"Are you giving me your blessing?"

"I guess so?" Carl stumbled on words as he was confused.

"Thank you."

"G'night dad. I love you."

"I love you too, son." Rick smiled softly as he kissed his son's forehead and turned the bedside light off then walked to the door, closing it.

Rick stood there for a moment, realizing that the conversation wasn't the best, _but_ it did count as communicating like Shane advised him. He realized that the last conversation was with the man cleaning his house up. He stalked into the kitchen where Daryl was at as he was picking up the trash and the empty beer bottles and looked at the younger man as their eyes met.

"You are so weird, sometimes."

"How's that?" Rick smirked.

"Cause, you just show up and then you _stare_.." 

"I like my view.."

"Ahh, I do too." Daryl then blushed.

"You heard?"

"Heard what exactly?"

"My conversation with Carl.."

"Oh that.. yeah. He was pretty loud, but it's okay. He's a kid.. he's lashing out.. same as I did when things happened when I was younger and outed myself. I ain't taking it no way."

"Daryl.. I'm sorry."

"Uhh?"

"Oh god.. No, so not doing that. I was saying for you hearing what my son had said.."

"Well shit. You'd give a man a heart-attack.. Asshole." Daryl smirked.

"I've got a preposition.."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes, Daryl."

"What's that?"

"I say.. Let me help clean up.. you stay the night.. and we take Carl to school and then after work you come back over and spend time with Carl.."

"Hmm, I aints against staying the night.. as long as I get to hold you."

"And I'm not against you holding me, neither." Rick smirked and nibbled at the younger man's lips.

"Mmm, Rick.. Stop it. Save it for later. We've gotta' clean up." Daryl moaned as he kept breaking away from the emotional kisses that Rick was leaving on him.

"You really want me to stop?" Rick teased.

"Well, no.. but you don't want cockroaches' in yer new house. Them _bastards_ is hard to get rid of.." Daryl strolled off as Rick's kisses surged down his neck as he grumbled in both pleasure and lust. Even he knew his words weren't persuasive enough.

Daryl gasped at the instant pleasure of his lover's lips on his neck. He tried to disentangle himself from Rick's compelling grip and as Rick kept proceeding with kissing his neck and touching his stomach under his shirt he relinquished into Rick. He stood there, gasping a moan in between trying to catch a hint of breath until he felt Rick's hard member pressed into him from behind. 

"Rick.." Daryl groaned in pleasure.

Rick moaned lovingly in Daryl's ear as he then maneuvered Daryl into his arms and firmly pushed him up against the wall of the kitchen gazing into Daryl's eyes. Without skipping a beat, Rick had his lips on Daryl's forcing his tongue into his mouth already massaging his. As they barely broke away Daryl instantly dragged his teeth along Rick's making him moan out and Rick had his hands up Daryl's shirt anchoring his hands on Daryl's side as they feverishly and passionately kissed. After a few minutes, Rick still had Daryl pinned to the wall panting like a _stallion_ moaning and wanting him. 

Rick already feeling Daryl shuddering beneath him along with his hard member pressed against his thigh, he let go of him embrace and guided Daryl into his bedroom, closing the door.


	9. Bleeding Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~This chapter is the day after the party. :)
> 
> Well if you like this chaptered fic, I'd love to get feedback from y'all. :)
> 
> & I know that this SO much longer than the rest.. and it broke my heart to write this one;;

Rick grasped onto the sleeping man that lay naked under his blankets. He wrapped his muscled arms around the man and laid on his forearm watching the younger man sleep peacefully like a kid that was worn out after playing all day. He took his grainy hands through the man's long black hair as gentle as he could. He was in _awe_ of how beautiful the man was lying next to him in his bed. He felt butterflies in his stomach when he laid there thinking about the night before. The memories of how he was being kissed, embraced, the stunning pain yet pleasure from Daryl making love to him. The fact that Daryl took care of him throughout the whole process and didn't force him into anything. He fell asleep in Daryl's vigorous arms as he breathed heavily against his neck but throughout the night, Rick had traded with him and cuddled him and loved it.

Daryl pulled Rick closer to him, still sound asleep, making Rick smile even more. He realized in that moment that he was absolutely head over heels in love with this man and wouldn't change it for anything. The moment quickly perished when his bedroom door busted open. As he instantly turned his head all he saw was Carl standing there with his eyes shut.

"Carl!" Rick groaned as he sat up in the bed, covering his torso as Daryl jumped up scared out of his mind.

"Dad, I'm gonna be late! It's 740 and school starts in 30 minutes! You were supposed to be up at 730! I thought you had to be at work!" Carl lightly screeched as his eyes were kept shut.

"I'm up.. I'm gettin' up.." Rick bafflingly stuttered.

"Ugh! Hurry up!" Carl then ran out of the door way.

"You sure are up.. How you feeling?" Daryl whispered wishing the door was closed.

"I'm great. Wish that last part right there didn't happen. But, I guess I should be gettin' up and get him to school." Rick smirked looking at Daryl.

"Wish we could play hooky.. _but_ Merle would kill me. Monday's seriously are hell and then you missing work wouldn't be good. And Carl has to get to school." Daryl smiled as he swung his legs on the side of the bed grabbing his clothes and getting dressed quickly.

"I understand. I'd lose my _position of authority_ if I miss. Sheriff would have my ass handed on the wall.. And I think I just embarrassed him for life.." Rick smiled as he ran his hand through his hair before rubbing Daryl's back.

"Get up, Sheriff's Deputy.. Don't want you to lose that _authority_." Daryl chuckled as he slipped his boots on and stood up tossing Rick his clothes.

Rick laughed and grabbed his underwear and uniform as he got dressed then followed Daryl into the living room.

"Carl, go get in the car."

Carl then ran to the car and it was just the two alpha males in the house.

"You comin' over tonight?"

"If it ain't too late.."

"What if I want you to.. even if it's late?"

"And have another morning like today?"

Rick shrugged smiling with reddened cheeks.

"And what if I do come over and then we _happen_ to be doing things when Carl barges in next time?"

"Then, I'll make sure that we lock the door."

"Rick, let's be real here. Carl is gonna have to warm himself up to this idea first on his own. You can't force this kind of thing on him. He's 12.. and sure, he seems happy.. for us.. _but_ watching my family act the way they did.. and my Pa beating my ass til it was raw.. I just don't want to torment the rascal."

"Alright, Alright. We'll let him warm up to it. _but_ you promised him you'd try to come over and play the _Zombie_ part of Call Of Duty. Don't go be breaking your promises.." Rick smirked as the younger man grabbed his sunglasses and keys he laid on the table in the foyer.

"I'll try my best. I _swear_ " Daryl smiled as he crossed his heart.

"We've gotta go. Maybe we can meet for lunch? Text me what you want and what Merle wants.."

"Merle? You's got the hots for my big brudder?" Daryl chuckled.

"Nope. I just gotta make him like me.." Rick smiled and they walked out of the house.

"Alright, I'll let you know. Be good. Be careful."

"Always am. You too." 

They stood there looking at one another as Daryl finally leaned up and kissed Rick softly dragging his teeth against his lover's tongue, knowing what it does to him.

"I hate you.." Rick smirked as they slowly walked down the porch steps.

"You love me.. Don't lie"

"I do love you." Rick chuckled as he hugged the younger man.

"I love you too. See you fer lunch."

Rick nodded then jumped in the car, starting it and drove off to drop Carl off at school as Daryl followed, honking the horn _bye_ and headed towards his shop. 

Rick and Carl didn't speak a word on their way to the school. When they were in the drop off lane, Rick finally spoke up.

"Carl, that won't happen again. I am so sorry."

"It's fine, dad."

"No it's not." 

"Dad, please.. just forget about it."

"Carl, I love you.. and I hope you have a great day.." Rick faintly smiled and watched Carl get out of the car.

"I love you too, dad."

Rick caught Carl's smile and returned it and then drove off. As he was turning onto the road he got a call from Shane.

"Good morning?"

"Rick.." Shane sighed.

"What happened?"

"Lori.. she's in labor and I have absolutely _no_ idea what I am doing.." Shane began hysterically panting.

"Alright, alright. I'm on my way." Rick panicked as he did a instant U-turn putting his sirens on and sped to the hospital, calling Daryl on his way there.

\----

"Hey babe." Daryl answered 

"Hey. So, I am not gon' make it for lunch." 

"Oh, okay. That's fine. I'll send Merle to go pick us up something. E'rything okay? You seem.. shaken.." 

"It's Lori. She's in labor.. Shane's freaking out. Carl's at school.. I had to call in.." Rick admitted.

"Ahh. Rushing to the _Queen's Bed-side_. Well, keep me updated. You need me to pick the kid up?"

"Don't be like that. It's not like that.. and if you don't mind. If it's a issue, I'll have Carol pick him up and he can play with Sophia."

"Like what, Rick? And I's said I'd pick the kid up."

"K."

"No.. Don't _K_ me, Rick. I am your _boyfriend_. I do sort of have a issue that you rush to your ex wife's bed side and you're there for her and the man who you called your _best friend_ that got your ex wife pregnant and you call into work when I was willing to call in to lay in bed with you and you said you would too and then you made a speech about how the Sheriff would be and then now all of this happened and you called in anyway and here I am expecting you for lunch and you say you ain't gon' make it cause of Lori.. Nice. I'll pick Carl up, keep me updated, the house will be cleaned and then dinner will be made. If you make it home for dinner, that's cool. If not, leftovers will be in the fridge. Don't worry. I'll take care of yer kid. Got' go. I love you."

"Dar--" Rick started to speak until he realized that Daryl wasn't on the other end of the line and he slammed his hand into the steering wheel.

\----

Rick reached the hospital, throwing the car in park as he told the valet to park it anywhere and ran up the stairs to the Maternity Ward, seeing Shane waiting for him as he said he would.

"Shane!" Rick yelled and seen everyone looking at him and he hugged his _bestfriend_ , "How is she?"

"They.. they.. took her.. and the baby.. and the surgery.. the.." Shane spoke but nothing came out making sense.

"Shane... Calm down. I'm here.. I'm here, _brother_.." Rick whispered comforting him until he settled down.

"Thanks.."

"Now, tell me, what happened.."

"We were in the room.. she was pushing as hard as she could.. when she was told to.. The doctor told her to stop.. they were talking among themselves in their medical talk and told Lor to be calm and not to freak out.. well, I'm standing there trying not to freak out to keep her calm and she was the one keeping me calm... then all of a sudden.. there was a _shit ton_ of blood covering the bed.. they pulled us apart and rushed her out of the ward and a nurse came and found me as I was standing there, processing it all. Said they were needing to do an emergency c-section, apparently like they did with Carl, and that she went unconscious..."

Rick stood there petrified, not only for Carl but for Shane who he still cared for and Lori, as he still loved her.. He held his best friend as he phone went off from a couple texts. He reached down pulling his phone out of his pocket, seeing they were from Daryl.

" _Rick, I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to come off as a jealous boyfriend. I am so sorry. I love you so much and I really hope that we can work this issue out. I hope to see you at home, tonight.. And I hope chicken, pasta salad, and macaroni and cheese is alright for dinner._ "

" _I just wanted to let you know that I picked Carl up. We're on our way to get the food and he said he'd like to help me. Also, wants to see his mom. Told him we'd do his homework and take a shower and you could possibly take him to see her tomorrow. Again, I love you. Keep me updated._ "

Rick rolled his eyes but lovingly replied,

" _It's okay. I'm not mad. And that sounds fine for dinner. Also, I'll call in a bit. And I love you too._ " 

He then put his phone up as the doctor was approaching.

"Mr. Walsh?"

"Yeah.." Shane muttered. "This is her ex- husband, Rick.."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Grimes" The doctor semi-smiled then shook their hands.

"Can you tell us how she is?"

"Let's sit.."

They both sat down and were shaken with fear.

"How is my.. ex wife?" 

"Mr. Grimes, Mr. Walsh.. I am so sorry to tell you.. she did not make it through the surgery. We did the c-section.. we were patching her up and when we were doing that certain procedure she began to bleed out in other places and when we tried to get the bleeding under control, it just wouldn't stop. I am so sorry."

They both gasped for air as if they were suffocating.

"And.. my baby?" Shane cried through his words.

"Your baby girl is perfectly healthy. She is getting cleaned up and going to be brought to you."

"Lori.. she.. died.." Rick began to cry

"I am so sorry, Mr. Grimes.. We did, _everything_ we could to save her.."

"Fuck.. Carl.." Rick balled.

Shane instantly held him as they both cried, not caring at how ridiculous they looked. They sat there comforting each other until the nurse came out, bringing them both to the nursery to see the baby.

"Which one is the father?" The nurse smiled.

"I.. I.. I am.." Shane choked, wiping his nose.

"What are you naming her?"

"Judith.. Judith Alaine Walsh.." 

"Walsh?" Rick asked without using his filter.

"Rick.. she's my daughter. Regardless, She was gonna' be a _Walsh_. I was going to ask.. Lori to marry me.." 

Rick nodded not going any further and told Shane he was going to the cafeteria to get a coffee as he walked outside, bumming a cigarette of a stranger.

Lighting it, he called Daryl.

\---

"Hey baby.." Daryl answered and didn't hear anything from Rick, "Rick.."

"Yeah..?"

"How is everything?"

"I.. I.. I don't.. I can't make.. Fuck!" Rick started balling his eyes out.

"Rick..?" Daryl asked concerningly.

"Are you alone?"

"No, give me a moment... Carl, I'm stepping outside for a moment." 

"Okay.." Rick heard Carl speak sweetly which made him cry more.

"Okay, I'm in my truck. What happened?"

"Lori.." 

"What about Lori. I can't read your mind, Rick.."

"She.. she.."

"She what?"

"She died.. She's dead.. She died in surgery.." Rick sobbed.

"What? She what?"

"She had to have an emergency c-section.. and she died.. she bled out.."

"Oh babe. I am so sorry.. What about the baby?"

"She's perfectly healthy. Looks just like her. They named her _Judith Alaine Walsh_.. Supposedly Shane was gon' ask her to marry him.."

"Fuck.. What.. what do I say to the kid?"

"Nothing. Avoid it. I'll handle it.."

"Are you sure? I have no problem doing it.."

"No.. I need to do it..."

"Alright, dinner will be ready for you. I love you Rick.."

"I love you too."

\----

Rick sat there on the bench smoking the rest of the cigarette and tossed the coffee away and headed to his car and drove towards the house. As he arrived, he sat in the car crying until Daryl came out.

"Rick.." Daryl sweetly spoke holding his hand out to him.

Rick grabbed his hand and got out of the car and closed the door as he was still balling and all Daryl could do was hold him as he comforted him the best way he knew how to.

"She's.. She's gone.. forever.."

"I'm so sorry Rick. I am _so_ sorry.."

Rick stood there in the muscular armed man as he wept on his shoulder feeling his lover comfort him.


	10. You Should Be Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick tells Carl about Lori passing :(
> 
> \--> This is another chapter that had me in tears writing it. Hopefully y'all will like it.

Daryl held the older man in his arms allowing him to just cry. He took his hand up and down his back as he kept soothing his lover.

"Thank you." Rick cleared his throat.

"For what?"

"Being here. Taking care of Carl. Taking care of the things that needed done. Being the one that-"

"Rick, I ain't goin' nowhere. I am here to stay because I love you and I want to be with you. No need to thank me. That's what we do.."

"How.. am I.. going to tell Carl that his mother died and his sister lived? How.. I don't know how to do this.." Rick began choking up again.

"Do you want me to be there?"

"More than anything, but this is something that _I_ have to do.. and I don't want to.." 

"I'll stay out here and give you space to tell him.." Daryl whispered as he rubbed the older man's bearded cheek.

"You don't have to stay out here."

"Rick, go talk to yer son.. You can't avoid it any longer.." Daryl muttered as he looked towards the house, "I'm not goin' anywhere. I'll be right here, smoking my cigarettes.." 

"Promise? I'm going to need you.."

"I'm here. Right here."

"Promise me.." Rick blubbered out as he cursed under his breath.

"I's promise.." Daryl whispered then kissed Rick gently on the lips.

Rick nodded and sluggishly strolled towards the house with every step growing heavier like a anchor. As he reached the front door he looked back at Daryl who was nodding at him. Rick sighed and then opened the door and walked into the dining room where Carl was doing his homework.

"Uh.. Carl. I need to talk to you.." Rick stuttered feeling his heart shatter even more.

"Okay dad. Let me finish this last problem.."

Rick nodded and waited as he had the urge to run to the bathroom and throw up but then Carl put his pencil down and turned his attention to his father.

"So..?"

"Carl, uhm.. So.. I went to the hospital to be support for your mother and Shane.." Rick then paused.

"I know that."

"Well, Shane met me outside the ward where your mom was.."

"Okay.."

"He was very upset.. and he said your mom had to have surgery to get your baby sister out.."

"Is.. is Judith and Mom okay?"

"Carl.. I was waiting with Shane for the outcome of your mother along with Judith.. and the doctor.." Rick then inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he felt tears fall down.

"Dad.. What happened. You're scaring me.."

"Carl.. Oh god. I can't do this.." Rick cried harder and stood up and walked to the window that faced where Daryl was. He motioned for Daryl to come into the house.

"Dad.. What.. happened. Please.. Tell me.." Carl then started crying and then Daryl slowly closed the door behind him and walked into the dining room and looked at Rick who had his head down facing the window.

"Rick..?" Daryl mumbled.

"I can't. I can't do it.. He's.. just a kid. Our kid. He's our little boy.. Our pride and joy.. I.. I can't.." Rick turned on his heels as he walked past Daryl and his son and went out front.

"Daryl.. What happened.." Carl wiped his runny nose.

"Carl, you need to sit.." Daryl whispered as he motioned to the chair and watched the young boy sit across from him.

"Dar-" Carl didn't finish the sentence as he was balling.

Daryl grabbed the young boy and held him as he balled in his arms and he started crying softly too. 

"Carl.. Your mother.. she passed away after the surgery.. they tried and did everything they could to save her.. and everything they did just caused brand new problems and they were trying to work as fast as they could.. skipping steps and jumping ahead to fix the previous problems and she was just.. going too fast.." Daryl croaked as he held the boy who was flopping like a fish in his arms as he was wailing in his arms.

"My.. sister?" 

"She's healthy. Shane and your mother.. named her _Judith Alaine Walsh_. From what I've heard.. she looks _a lot_ like you and yer mom." 

"My.. mom.. I no longer get to hear her voice.. her hugs.. I.. I'm.. motherless.. I never got to say goodbye.." Carl wailed more as Daryl began crying even more, feeling his heartbreak and he held onto Carl even more.

"I am _so so so_ sorry, Carl.. God, I am so sorry.."

"Dad. Where's my dad.." 

"Out front, I believe.."

Carl wiped his eyes and pulled out of Daryl's grip then walked out front.

"Dad.." Carl sobbed, softly.

"Carl, I am so sorry. I just.. couldn't do it. I didn't want Daryl to be the one.. but when I tried... I-"

"It's okay dad.." 

"Come here.." Rick sighed and pulled his son into his arms and just held him as they cried. 

A half hour later, Rick emerged inside carrying Carl who fell asleep in his arms and he laid him in his bed, closing the door. He then walked into the living room, kicking his boots off and collapsed his lifeless body on the couch. Slowly, Daryl appeared in the living room with 2 beers, handing one to Rick as he sat next to him. 

They sat there without talking as thunder was rolling in and the sudden downpour of rain came shattering down. Daryl pulled Rick into his arms holding him as they laid there listening to the rain pour down and the lights went out when lighting hit, leaving them in the dark.

"Rick, I know that I can sit here and say how sorry I truly am.. and I truly am. I love you so damn much that I am going to be here to help you through this. It'll get easier, I promise you. I just.. you're not alone.."

"I am the one who should be apologizing, dear. I shouldn't have _made_ you tell Carl about Lor.. I.. I didn't mean to force that upon you.." Rick sighed and gulped at his beer.

"Rick, I did it because I love you. Because I love him. Because my love for this family... is stronger than anything that I have ever felt. I am going to be your rock whether you want me to be or not.. That's what relationships are about. When one of is weak, the other picks the pieces up. Stop apologizing. You losing the woman you were with for 14 years.. is not something that should be taken easily. She was yer heart and soul and you had a child together.. And I am here.."

"She should be here.. She should be here watching her daughter and our son grow up. Being walked down the aisle in her wedding to Shane. She should know that Shane picked the middle name because it is hers.. She should be here to feel the love and falling in love every day with the man who she birthed a child with. She should be here, Daryl.. Yes, our marriage was good.. until it wasn't.. but.. I never would wish this upon her or Shane.. I just.. She should be here. I am a single parent now.. and now Shane and I are having to work around this because of Judith.. which, is no problem because that is Carl's baby sister.. and they need to be apart of each other's life.. but.. She should be here, damnit. She.. should.. just be here.." Rick began to softly cry again as he pressed on his nose.

"She is here, Rick.." Daryl muttered holding his lover's hand.

"How.. She's not gon' be there for Carl's prom.. Carl's wedding. Judith's prom, Judith's wedding. Carl's children, Judith's children.. She's not here like she should be.."

"She's right there.. for everyone she left behind. I truly believe that because if she wasn't then you wouldn't be this heart-broken.." Daryl whispered as he pointed at Rick's chest.

Rick laid his head back silently looking at his partner who was hiding his own tears.

"Babe, I told you.. I ain't goin' nowhere. I promised. I'm here through thick and thin.." Daryl whispered.

Rick faintly smiled through his glistening tears that shined on his face through the moonlight and he felt Daryl wipe his face.

"Are you hungry?" 

"No.. I just.. want to go lay down."

"I'll clean the kitchen up and bring you some tylenol and water before I shower and come to bed."

"Thank you."

"It's fine, babe." Daryl smiled sweetly as he stood up and felt Rick's hand on his forearm.

Daryl leaned down kissing him softly and lovingly as he was being pulled more towards Rick almost falling into him.

"Rick, go lie down. I'll be in there shortly and then we can go to bed.." 

"Okay. I'll be waiting.."

Daryl nodded and then went into the kitchen and started throwing the food out and loaded the dishwasher as he started it. He then wrote a note for Carl excusing him from school. He then got a couple tylenol for Rick and a glass of water and turned the lights off and went to _their_ room, closing the door. 

When he looked at Rick who was naked under the sheets, as he always slept naked, asleep he sat next to him on the bed, softly nudging him.

"Yeah.."

"Open up.."

Rick opened his mouth as Daryl then placed one pill into his mouth and handed him the water. Daryl smiled and kissed _his deputy's_ forehead and went to the master bathroom to shower. 

After 15 minutes, Daryl climbed into bed and pulled Rick to him as he held Rick tightly against him.

"I love you." Rick mumbled, half asleep.

"I love you too. Sleep."

"I love you more.."

Daryl smiled as he kissed Rick's rough cheek and they both drifted off to sleep.


	11. The Thunder Rolls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~The wind howled as rain battered the windows in the dead of the night, the cracking sound of thunder shook the house. From the dark clouds lightning stuck here and there, lighting up the sky before it faded within the clouds. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> WARNING: This is a heated.. heated... chapter.. Kinda had fun with this one :)

The wind howled as rain battered the windows in the dead of the night, the cracking sound of thunder shook the house. From the dark clouds, lightning struck here and there, lighting up the sky before it faded within the clouds. 

Rick sat there on the back patio, sipping on a bottle of Jim Beam , watching the storm falling around him. He left Daryl in bed as he and Carl was passed out. As the rain kept pouring the sliding glass door opened, making him turn his head.

"Rick? What in the world are ya' doin?"

Rick held the bottle up showing his lover what he was doing .

"Ah, the hard shit."

"What are you doin up?" Rick asked 

"Well, I was asleep. Thunder startled me and realized you weren't there."

"Had a dream of Lor.." Rick sighed as he filled his cup, then drank it in one gulp.

Daryl dragged one of the chairs out next to Rick, taking a sip of the liquor.

"Take 'nother. It numbs, everything .." Rick then chuckled.

"You're lit already.." Daryl asked, surprised and smiled sweetly.

"Just.. tryin' to numb my pain."

Daryl took another shot, watching Rick in the moonlight as thunder and lightning struck.

"Uhm, just wanted to point this out to ya.. 'his shit is gon' ruin yer liver." Daryl mumbled as he gulped the bottle.

"Well, right now, I'm doing just fine."

"Rick, please. Come back to bed.." Daryl whispered as he ran his fingers over Rick's. 

"Daryl.. I can't." Rick right at the touch of his lovers rough, cracked hands.

The rain poured some more as the wind blew it right on the two men as they both intently looked at each other. Daryl smiled sweetly as he slowly got up and began to straddle the older man. Leaning into him he kissed Rick with every emotional feeling that flew out of him and right into Rick. Rick lightly moaned against Daryl's lips as he took the bottle out of his partner's hand and placed it on the table. He wrapped his rough, calloused hands in Daryl's long, wet shaggy hair. He rolled his hips under Daryl as he instantly felt Daryl's hardened cock, pressing into his pelvic region. 

"Yer soaked."

"And you're shivering" Rick countered.

Daryl let out a sigh that turned into a soft chuckle as he then forcefully pressed his lips onto the older man's, letting out a moan. Rick retaliated and began to roll his hips more radically, not caring about the storm or the fact that they were soaked. He delicately yanked on Daryl's hair forcing his head to go back as he then began licking the rain off of his neck leaving tender, erotic kisses. 

"Rick.."

"Mm?" Rick moaned against Daryl's neck.

"Let's go inside.." 

"No.." 

"Why? It's cold. We're..soaked.." Daryl pleaded, shivering from the cold rain and the torment that Rick was doing to him.

Rick ignored him as he gently pushed the younger man off him and onto the table, forcefully spreading the younger man's legs as he stood there.

"Too bad you ain't a woman. I'd _fuck_ ya just like this.." Rick groaned erotically as he bit his lower lip, feeling himself twitch in his jeans.

Daryl laid there watching his boyfriend attempting to manage his heartbreak. Not saying anything and _knowing_ not to push him, he sat up up slowly and pulled the older man's tight t-shirt off, tossing it on the patio.

"..'his what ya' want?" Daryl mumbled looking into the blue eyes that were now dark. He could tell that Rick was in a different _world_ and nipped at the older man's lips.

Rick groaned as his bottom lip was being bitten and he ripped Daryl's _wifebeater_ off and tossed it, _somewhere_... he was more interested in getting _his man_ naked in the rain. He ran his hand over Daryl's bulge in his basketball shorts, knowing he wasn't wearing underwear and grinned as he felt Daryl shudder underneath him.

"I thought you'd like that.." Rick muttered erotically in Daryl's ear, causing the younger man to nearly jump off the table.

"Fuck.." Daryl moaned as he felt himself grow harder in his shorts.

"Yeah? Fuck..?" Rick smirked and forcefully kissed his lover with fire and passion, reaching his hand under the shorts and pumped Daryl faster as they both moaned.

Daryl feeling on fire, he instantly pulled Rick into him as he then shoved his tongue deep into the older man's mouth as he nearly was choking the man, and wrapped his hands in the long, black curly hair allowing Rick _full_ access to his member. 

Rick broke away, wheezing for air, as he was then again pulled back to Daryl who was taking turn of _authority_ and shoved his tongue back into his lovers mouth, massaging their tongues together as his saliva was seriously all over both of their faces.

"Dar-- I... I can't.. breathe-" Rick moaned as he kept touching him, allowing Daryl to slide down his pajama pants freeing his hard member.

Daryl ignored Rick as he broke away and instantly pushed the older man away and into a chair as he got on his knees. He licked the tip of Rick's member, swirling it around as he then licked down the shaft. Hearing Rick groan in pleasure he then took his full length in his mouth ignoring his _gagging reflexes_ and kept sucking his lover more as he fondled his _ballsack_. Rick was bucking his hips up off the chair and into Daryl's heat seeking mouth.

"You're gon' make me come.." Rick groaned as he bucked more into Daryl's mouth feeling his _sack_ being squeezed.

Daryl smirked exotically as he then pumped and sucked Rick into _submission_. He instantly felt Rick's hot juices shot down his throat and he swallowed right in front of him. 

"Holy.. mother.. of.. God.." Rick sighed as he collapsed in the chair.

"Mmm.." Daryl smirked licking his lips as he then leaned down kissing Rick, allowing him to taste himself then backed away. "Ready to go back to bed yet?"

"What about you?" Rick smiled.

Daryl shrugged as he pulled Rick back inside and stripped out of his shorts and pulled his lover to their room, closing the door.


	12. Left Your Bible On The Dresser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick is at loss of whether to make Carl go to Lori's funeral or not. Daryl is there to help him with the loss of his wife, as he and Rick are both there for Shane and Judith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay; So; I am SO sorry about not putting this up like 3 days ago. I was gonna do it Saturday before my birthday party, but then things got SO crazy and then I made SURE that I wasn't anywhere near a computer to try to write as I was drunk (21t birthday) lol. And so, that is why I am just now posting this today... and I would have put it up today if I had it on my phone but I didn't so that is WHY I have a new chapter-ed fic.. but this is my first and foremost priority!!! 
> 
> Again, I am soo sorry!!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this one!
> 
> Let me know!!!

As the weekend approached after Lori's death, Shane had planned out how he wanted the funeral. Rick hadn't heard from Shane since the hospital which he understood with a newborn and losing Lori. If it weren't Carl and Daryl he probably would have lost himself in a bottle of _Jim Beam_ which seemed to become his _best friend_. He was beyond blessed having his son and lover to lean on and for Carl to lean on them, but behind closed doors he was burying himself into Daryl, using sex to deter him from reality, until the one night Daryl had enough and shoved him away and turned him down multiple times. 

Rick rolled on his right side, watching his lover sleep peacefully. He noticed that this was the first morning he woke up seeing things clearly and how he used to. He swung his legs to the side of the bed, running his hand through his greasy, curly hair and stood up as he walked to the dresser pulling out a pair of shorts, sliding them on and went down the hall to Carl's room.

"Carl, son, you got' get up."

"No."

"Carl..."

"I'm not going"

"We have to.. Your mother would want you there. And you haven't seen your sister yet. We're going to Shane's afterwards to continue to pay our respects and you can finally see her."

"Dad, I'm not going.. I can't."

"Why not..?" Rick muttered as he slowly sat on the bed.

"Because, I don't want to remember my mom that way. I don't want to remember her in a casket. I don't want to have to answer questions for Judith or hear all those annoying people telling me they're sorry for my loss. I'm not going. Shane'll be fine. You and Daryl go." Carl sighed and pulled the covers up over his head and rolled away from his father.

Rick sat there contemplating on whether to fight with him, he knew he was going to make Carl go because that is his mother.. but the other side of him.. didn't want to make his kid do something that he didn't want to do. He looked up and saw Daryl standing there with his arms crossed as he then walked out of Carl's room and they slowly walked back to their bedroom.

"Daryl, I am sorry.."

"Fer what?" 

"You know what.." Rick stuttered and dropped his head.

"Rick, I know that this has taken a toll on you.. I get that. But, fucking over and over again and you burying yerself to where you can't feel this.. isn't going to help you deal with _this_." 

"I know. You're right. I was in the wrong."

"Rick.. I'm not trying to be right. I'm trying to talk to you and make you see that you have to _grieve_ the loss.. and that I'm here. But, I'm not going to be here just for you to distract yourself from having to deal with it." 

"If Carl isn't going.. I'm not going." 

"You're both going. There's no arguments about that"

"I don't want my kid to have to do something he don't wan' do.."

"Jesus, he's a minor. Until he is 18, he doesn't get to choose what he does and doesn't get to do. You're his father, Rick. _Not_ his best friend that is what Sophia and Patrick and the school kids are for. You're his father. You raise him.. discipline his ass, and you make his ass get out of the bed and shower, brush his teeth and get dressed to go to his mother's funeral. Because when he's older about my age, he'll regret not going!" 

"You're right. I've been lacking in that department. I'll go talk to him again."

"No. You're showering. I'll talk to him."

"Daryl, please don't be too hard on him..." Rick sighed.

Daryl shot a look to him.

"Shower, Rick."

"Alright, alright."

Rick turned on his heels heading towards the master bathroom as he heard the bedroom door closed and he proceeded to take his shower.

\----

Daryl knocked lightly on Carl's opened door as he then watched Carl emerge from the covers.

"Hey, little guy.." Daryl awkwardly tried to make conversation.

"Hi." Carl slowly sat up on the bed.

"What's goin' on?"

"You know what's goin' on, Daryl."

"Well, why don't you tell me. I know that you are like _your_ father, and I know that you don't like to talk about yer feelings." Daryl smiled as he sat on the computer chair next to the bed.

"You know what's goin' on. So why are you in here?"

"Why don't you want to go to yer momma's funeral?"

"You know why. You and my dad talked about it. So can we skip this boring part.."

"Actually, we didn't talk about it.. not really. He's hurt. He's hurting and he want's his son there next to him. He married yer mom because he was in love with her. He made the decision to become a father with the woman whom he loved and wanted to build a life with and _now_ she's not even here. It's killing him whether he verbally talks to me or just looks at me. He is hurting. He wants yer mom back because you deserve to have yer mother here for you. To be there for yer prom, wedding, to meet her grandchildren.. and not only with you but with Judith. She should have her mother there for her too and she's not gon' have any memories with Lori like you have and always will have. I think it's very vital that you go and you see yer sister because in reality, Carl, that's all you have left of yer mother.." Daryl sighed with a heavy heart.

"Why is this so important to you.. and especially that I am around my sister? I have nothing. I have my father who chose you rather than to work on the relationship with mother. He just.. skipped out.. Yeah, my mom cheated, but she loved my dad more than he ever knew and rather or not if he knew it, he never will. All she talked about when it was just her and I was the memories of my father and her and she was always looking at the wedding pictures and birthday pictures of me.. and they were so happy. But my father.. skipped and now I'm stuck here... without my mother and a sister that killed my mom..." Carl sobbed.

"It's important to me.. because I was in yer shoes when I had to choose whether to hold a grudge against my father who used to beat me til my ass and back bled and I pleaded for me to stop. My brother Merle, was _never_ around because he was able to get out and I applaud him to do so.. but when he left, I was the center for the abuse until the one day.. my big brother came home to check in on me and my mama, and our father was drunker than normal and just whipping me across the whole fuckin' house and not a care in the world that my head was bouncing off the walls.. He didn't care. Yeah, my Pa.. he loved me. He did til the day he died, I know that.. but I was still so broken and hurt and had so much hatred for that bastard that.. I didn't go to his funeral.. and here I am.. a middle aged man.. and I regret that decision every single day of my life. All.. I'm saying kid, is that.. I know that you think that if you don't show up.. that it won't hurt so bad and that you think it'll help ya' deal better.. but truth is.. you'll be just like me.. sitting here talking to a little boy or girl your age.. when you have to talk that kid into going because.. his own father.. can't even manage to deal with anything for himself.. I love you like you were my own kid, Carl.. I have gotten to watch you grow up in front of my eyes in the last few months that I can't imagine that... you don't want anything to do with yer sister.. and give your love and respect to yer mother who loved you unconditionally."

"You.. regret not goin?"

"Every single day of my life. Every breath.. It haunts me. I miss the bastard, I do.. But, I miss the man whom he truly was.. not the abuse he inflicted on my mother, my brother and myself.. but ya' I regret it.. because even after everything he ever did to me.. I loved him so much that he.. he probably never knew it.. and if he did.. I.. I just don't want you asking for forgiveness till the day you die because you didn't show up.. And.. Judith.. she's gonna need you in her life, regardless. There's nothin' like a sibling bond.." Daryl inhaled sharply and then stood up and walked out of the bedroom, closing the door and began to sob quietly until he heard the floor boards creak.

"Was all that.. true?" Rick whispered as he was in his black dress pants, buttoning up his black shirt.

"Yeah. All that.. was true." Daryl sighed, wiping his eyes. 

"Why.. have you never told me none of that stuff in months of us being together."

"Because.. Rick, it's all in my _past_.." Daryl mumbled as he looked at the floor.

"Look at me and tell me all those things are in your past.. because the fact that those scars on yer back.. and you not letting me touch your back during sex.. you.. it's not in your past."

"Rick, please. Just.. stop." Daryl grumbled then went out back, lighting a cigarette up as he then stepped aside to see Rick coming out too.

"Daryl.." Rick muttered as he stood in front of him.

"Rick, look. I am still fucked up from the abuse that I was forced to endure during my childhood.. but the fact that my father is 6 feet under this ground.. and he's not here to inflict that sort of pain on my and or my brother.. I am working on making it part of my past.. that way.. you can touch me and I don't flinch. There's nothing that you can do.. It's somethin' I's have to work on.. okay?" Daryl then closed his eyes, composing himself.

"Okay. Your clothes are on the bed.." Rick faintly smiled as he turned and went inside and made him some coffee leaving Daryl to compose himself.

\------

About 30 minutes later, Daryl emerged in his dark denim jeans that fell off his hips and his black and grey button up shirt that Rick had bought him for him birthday and the cowboy boots and he instantly saw Rick and Carl sitting on the couch, in silence. 

"Well.. ?" Daryl smiled.

"I like it." Carl commented. "Ya clean up nice."

"Awh, thanks for the compliment, Kid." Daryl smirked as he knew that Carl was fucking with him.

"You both ready?" Carl sighed as he stood up.

"You look.. really handsome. Your mother would be so proud.." Rick choked up as he held his 5 foot 4 son in his arms, tightly.

"Dad, please. Let go.." Carl choked up.

"Rick, let 'em go." Daryl gently pulled a arm off around of Carl and allowed Carl to run out of the house to the car.

"He hates me.."

"He doesn't hate you. He's dealing.. Which is the way you should be doing. Why would you wan' be so emotional before the funeral, knowing you're gon' cry yer eyes out.. in every reason that someone should." 

"He.. he is speaking at her funeral. I don't know what you said within a 15 minute conversation, Daryl, but thank you so much. Not for getting him to speak, I am fairly certain that with him being her kid, that was his own decision.. but the fact that you were able to get through to him and open up to him.. because you both needed that. I needed that." Rick sighed as he looked down at his feet.

Daryl faintly smiled and interlocked his fingers within Rick's as he made him look up at him. 

"I love you, and I will do _anything, anything_ for you. I truly mean that. I mean that so much that I am going to yer ex wife's funeral.. and not to mention.. opening up to yer son about my past.. if that helped him and helped me, then I'd do it all over again. That's what true love is, Rick..." Daryl smiled and watched the older man, choke back tears.

"You'll still be with me.. when I cry like this.."

"Of course.. Just cause you're cryin' don't mean you ain't lovable. Everyone's lovable, Rick. Including me and my fucked up past.. and baggage.." Daryl smiled and kissed him softly. 

They stood there, peacefully until they both jumped at the shocking noise of the car horn blaring out in the driveway.

"I think.. he wants this done and over with.." Rick smirked, "As do I.."

"We're not having sex. I'm done with that until you've completely grieved."

"You're seriously denying me?"

"Yes."

"But.."

"Yer the bottom.. I'm the top. I get to make the choices."

"That's _so_ not fair.." Rick pouted and jumped at the horn blaring again.

They laughed lightly and walked out of the house together and both got into the car as Rick drove ever so slowly to the funeral home, dreading what was coming next.


	13. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick, Daryl and Carl walked into the funeral home. Rick seeing Shane instantly, trying to calm Judith down.

Pulling into the parking lot of the funeral home, Rick slowly parked in a spot. He looked in the rear view mirror back at Carl who was staring out the window, not saying anything. He sighed looking at Daryl who reached for his hand as they sat there for a second. 

"You ready?" Rick quietly asked.

"No." 

"Carl, we can't sit out here forever. Come on, son.." Rick mumbled as he and Daryl then got out of the car, waiting for Carl to get out.

"Dad, I can't do this."

"I'm right here.. We're both right here.. I'm not going to leave you in there while the _vultures_ are circling you." Rick smiled as they then slowly walked into the funeral home.

As all three of them leisurely walked in and headed to the room.

"Dad, I can't go up there. Please don't make me go up there.." Carl immediately began to sob.

"Son.. Your grandparents are up there.. and Shane, along with Judith.."

"Dad.. please.."

Daryl looked at Rick as he took Carl out of the room to console him. Rick got in line as it slowly progressed. As he reached the front, he kissed Lori's forehead and whispered that he loved her. Shane made sure she was wearing the wedding ring that he and Rick picked out 14 years ago. When he wiped his tears, he greeted his ex in-laws as he then seen Shane walking off with Judith and he followed the screaming of the newborn.

"Judith, please baby girl.. just.. please." Shane pleaded.

"Hey, _brother_.." Rick sighed as he sat next to Shane.

"Hey.." Shane whispered as he rocked his daughter.

"Here, lemme handle this part.." Rick smiled, sweetly as he gently grabbed the fussy baby girl standing up and began to bounce around. 

"You're a natural." Shane faintly smiled, wiping his tears.

"Lots of practice. You look like hell. You been sleeping?"

Shane looked up with tears in his eyes as they fell down his face almost instantly.

"I can't sleep, Rick. I can't even nap when she naps. I can't even.. relax. I try. I do nothing but go through Lor's clothes and wait for her to pull up, honking the horn for me to help with groceries. I wait for her to tell me about the day and come home to her cooking.. and she's never there. She's.. not there, Rick.." Shane began sobbing.

"Hey.. okay. Shh.." Rick soothingly whispered at Shane and Judith.

At that point in time, Daryl and Carl walked into the room. Daryl eyed Rick, giving him the _okay_ that Carl was better, which in return, Rick nodded.

"Is that.. Judith?" Carl faintly smiled as he stood next to his dad.

"Yeah, this is your baby sister.." Rick smiled as he looked at Shane who was lost, completely lost. 

"She.. looks like mom.." Carl whispered as Rick held her closer to his son.

"That she does, which means she looks like you. She's got your cry.. Oh my god.. that cry.." Rick chuckled, "Right Shane?"

"Yeah.." Shane muttered, sitting there as he stared off into space.

Rick looked at Daryl to take Judith from him, and squatted in front of Shane.

"Hey, come walk with me.." Rick whispered as he then stood up, grabbing the cigarettes from Daryl's back pocket and the two men walked out front, towards Rick's car.

Rick pulled a cigarette out, lighting it as he handed one to Shane.

"I don't smoke, Rick."

"Today.. is an exception.." Rick urged him then helped him light it.

"Today's not really an exception. My woman is in there lying in a coffin while our daughter is.. wailing and won't fuckin' stop.." Shane sighed as he dragged a long breath of nicotine in.

"I know that this isn't my place to say 'nothin.. but would you like us to watch her for a few days so you can sleep.. Maybe go see the doctor.."

"I don't need a damn doctor.."

"Shane, I wasn't implying that you need one. I'm just saying that maybe he could prescribe you something to let you sleep.."

"I ain't got a need for sleeping pills. I am making it just fine. I am taking care of my daughter and myself and.. I'm fine." Shane lightly yelled and dragged in the last of his cigarette, before grabbing another one.

"Shane.. You know that's not what I meant."

"If I would have _never_ gotten with Lori.. then you two would never have split, she never would have gotten pregnant and she would still be here for Carl.." Shane then began sobbing as he stared at off into the sun that was hiding behind the dark clouds.

"Shane, regardless, her and my marriage was over for so long, that neither of us could move on because of Carl. You probably did us both a favor. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy and I truly mean that."

"I'm your worst enemy.."

"No, you're not. You're your own worst enemy, Shane. Plus, I know that you wouldn't go after Daryl, since you're not gay.." Rick chuckled, making Shane smile.

"I think.. your right. I am my own worst enemy."

"Shane, it'll get better, I promise you." 

"Rick.." Shane sighed and flicked the end of the cigarette in the road.

"Yeah?"

"Lori died because of me."

"Shane, enough. Believe me.. God.. had another plan for Lor.. It was no one's fault.."

Shane broke down, sobbing into Rick's arms as he stood there for a moment until he was able to console himself. After a few moments they both went in and realized that the funeral had started and Carl was standing up there next to Daryl who was giving him support to give his eulogy. Rick leaned against the door frame watching his lover and his son being each other's support. Shane handed Judith to Rick with a bottle and the diaper bag and he started walking out of the funeral house.

"Shane!" Rick whispered.

Shane turned, with tears in his eyes.

"I'm taking you up on that offer. If you need more things, the locks on the house never changed."

"Where are you goin?"

"I'll be back, I promise.. I just.. can't be here right now and be a good father to her until I'm better myself.."

As Carl and Daryl both walked over to Rick who was holding Judith as she was sound asleep, Daryl looked at him confusingly.

"He.. skipped out on her?" Daryl whispered, low enough that way Carl didn't hear.

"I offered to watch her for a few days while he got some shut eye.. and he promised he'd be back.. I.. I don't like how this is affecting him. You'd think that.. him having a newborn would give him a reason to stay and mourn the loss and be the best damn father he could try to be.." Rick sighed as he looked down at the beautiful newborn girl in his arms, wishing that he could have another baby.

"Well, let's just wait a few days and see how things turn out. I couldn't imagine him just walking out of her life like that, Rick. He don't seem like that type'a man." 

"He's not.. That's what I'm not understanding. The way he acted after handing her to me.. and walking out.. I just.. things ain't adding up.."

"He at least give you a car seat?"

Rick nodded as he turned around and buckled her in. Daryl grabbed the diaper bag as they all four walked out and got in the car. Rick strapped the car seat in as secure as he could without the base, making Carl hold onto it as they drove home.

"Dad?" Carl whispered as he walked next to Rick, carrying Judith inside.

"Carl?"

"Where's she gonna sleep? We don't have nothing for her.."

"Shane'll be back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah.." Rick said, " _I think_ " he then whispered under his breath.

Carl went and sat on the couch as Rick handed her to his son and he and Daryl went out front to talk about the situation that they were given, with no choice.

\----

"Is he.. coming back?"

"Dar, I don't know. I really don't. I just know that I can _not_ take care of my ex wife's daughter. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't do that to an innocent baby. I just.. If this is too much for you.." Rick sighed as he pressed the bridge of his nose to relieve the headache.

"I wouldn't go anywhere else, Rick." Daryl smiled, softly as he eased Rick a little bit.

"I.. I'm worried about him."

"We'll check on him in the morning." Daryl whispered as they stood there on the front porch, watching Carl feed Judith.


	14. That's The Beat Of The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick and Daryl head to check on Shane, while Carol watches Carl and Judith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--> I know that this chapter is just SO SO long, BUT I just couldn't stop writing it until I ended it with a cheerful side! :)
> 
> My Rickyl addiction needed a good ending for once <3 :)
> 
> Also, let me know what y'all think so far! I am seriously loving this fic more than all the one's I've rough drafted and never finished.. and for me to have over a 1,000 hits... y'all don't know what you're doing to me! I am seriously so proud of my work with this fic that it's my 'pride and joy'! <3

The bright light of the sun was beaming through the blinds that were closed. It lit the bedroom up instantly. There was groaning and moaning, coming from Daryl who _loathed_ the sunlight. It was an every morning thing with him, which Rick thought was cute. He would groan, huff and puff as he tossed and turned in the bed, finally pulling the pillow over his face to block the sun out of his eyes instantly falling back asleep. By which in that point in time, with all of Daryl's temper tantrum, Rick was wide awake. 

This morning, Daryl had covered his face with the blanket and tried not to toss and turn as Judith was in the bed in-between them. Rick laid there watching her sleep, peacefully and held Daryl's hand as he did all night.

"Psst." Rick whispered, getting Daryl's attention.

"10 more minutes.." Daryl suppressed a groan from under the pillow.

"Daryl, look at her.." Rick muttered softly.

"10 minutes.." 

Rick huffed and puffed, til Daryl finally emerged from under the pillow brushing his hair back with his hand and looked at what Rick was looking at.

"Yeah, 'ts a baby.. She's sleeping.. Now, may I have my 10 minutes?" Daryl grumbled, annoyed.

"You're a grouch this mornin.." Rick whispered as he cooed at Judith who still slept.

"I have ma reason's, man." Daryl rolled his eyes.

Rick looked at him confused, truly not knowing what the hell his lover was talking about.

"Ugh, nevermind. Carl up yet?" 

"No. He's not opened the door.." Rick smirked at the agitated young man lying next to him.

"Hm." Daryl smirked back and sat on the side of the bed.

"What is going on in that _greasy head_ of yours?" Rick asked as he continued to watch Judith.

"Think she'll be 'lright alone in the bed?" 

"Why would you question that?"

"..uhh.. Cause.."

"Because why, Dixon?" Rick teased.

"Why you teasin' me, Rick. You's know what I want."

"Cause, you denied me.. remember?" Rick chuckled lightly.

"Keep on bein' loud and wake her up.. and you don't get none." Daryl smirked as he stood up, facing Rick watching Rick swallow hard. "What's goin' on in yer head?"

"Nothing." Rick smiled and looked at him and back down to the hard member clearly showing through Daryl's boxers.

"Uh-huh. Well, I'm gon' go shower. Promised ya' we'd go check on yer best friend. If you enjoy the view so much, as I know you are, I'll leave the door unlocked." Daryl smirked as he grabbed himself teasing Rick and walked into the bathroom.

"Fuck.." Rick whispered as he pulled all the covers down away. He was scared on what to do, he and Lori used to leave Carl in their bed all the time, without being so scared, but this wasn't his kid.. So he was worried. 

He sat there as he heard the water turn on. He instantly got off the bed and bolted to the bathroom, closing the door and locked it. When he turned around, Daryl was in the shower already. Rick dropped his basketball shorts and stepped into the shower. He wrapped his arms around Daryl's waist as he buried his face into his neck, leaving kisses on his neck.

"Thought you weren't gon' come.." Daryl moaned at the kisses being left on his neck.

"Now.. _why_ would I turn you down?" Rick chuckled as he took his finger tips down his lovers stomach, reaching his hardened member as he began to pump him gently, forcing his own member into Daryl's back. 

"I hoped that you wouldn't. I don't think I could ever not make love to you.." Daryl moaned as he pressed his backside more into Rick as he was being stroked more intently.

"I am glad that I met you. I am so happy that you waltzed right up to me.. because.. I love you so much, with every single beat of my heart. You had me from _hello_." Rick moaned lightly against the hot, wet flesh and bit gently as he stroked Daryl more.

Daryl moaned out as he placed his hands on the wall of the shower, bracing himself. 

"Rick.." He softly moaned out as he felt his stomach tightening up.

"When was the last time that I was in control?" Rick moaned lightly as he rubbed his finger around his entrance until he gently slid a finger into Daryl's ass feeling him flinch from pleasure, pushing back against him.

"Fuck.." Daryl moaned more loud this time, pushing farther back onto Rick's finger as he felt Rick moving his middle finger in a _come hither_ motion, "More" he breathlessly gasped.

Rick obliged sliding his index finger into his ass as he began pumping in and out of him along with his other hand working his hardened cock. He felt himself start growing harder.

"Kiss me.. I want your tongue in my mouth.." Daryl groaned as he looked at Rick the best he could.

"Turn around, then"

Daryl immediately turned, facing Rick as he was pushed into the wall and he automatically felt Rick's lips on his and their tongue's fighting against one another. As the moaning grew louder and the touching grew for prominent, Daryl instantly pulled the older man's wet curly hair as he was out of control and moaning uncontrollably. Rick screeched out in a groan of pleasure as he instantly paid Daryl back for the hair grab, pulling his dark shaggy hair and making him groan in pain, yet pleasure as well. 

"I don't even need _fucked_ to come. I'm about to go now.." Daryl grumbled as they broke away from their kissing, panting looking at one another as the hot water fell on them both.

Rick smirked as the intuition of having the _authority_ and he forcefully turned Daryl around as he faced the wall forcing him to bend over and he eased his hard member into his ass as they both groaned in pleasure. Rick slowly thrusted as he held onto Daryl's hips as they both groaned out.

"Oh, Rick.." Daryl grunted in thrill.

"That's it.." Rick coaxed him.

"Don't stop, oh god.. please don't stop.." 

Rick bit his lip as he thrusted deeper and harder into Daryl as he placed a hand on the shower wall as the other one was still on Daryl's hip and he grunted until he began to feel his stomach knotting up.

"I'm coming.." Rick grunted as his eyes rolled in the back of his head.

Daryl cried out in solace as he pulled the slippery older man into him more until he came himself.

"Fuck.." Rick sighed as he was out of breath.

"That.. was.. _hot_.." 

Rick snorted as he backed out of Daryl and watched him turn around.

"Shall we actually shower?" Rick chuckled as he kissed his lovers cheek softly.

Daryl snickered as Rick's beared cheeks were rubbing against his stubbled face, making it tickle.

"That is.. _precious_ " Rick teased.

"Did you just.. call me.. precious?" Daryl snorted a soft laugh.

"Perhaps.."

Daryl rolled his eyes, "Precious my ass," and he then grabbed the shampoo and washed his hair as he quickly washed his body as the water began to get cold.

"Yes, your ass is very precious.." Rick chuckled as he then washed his hair and body right after Daryl and _froze to death_ from the water becoming ice cold, "And screw you. That water is freezing!"

Daryl grinned as he stepped out first and dried off and tossed the towel to Rick who dried off knowing Daryl was watching him.

"Good mornin'.." 

Rick rolled his eyes and then walked into the bedroom getting dressed suddenly as his door opened.

"Dad.."

"Carl.."

"Judith has been up. I just fed her.. Carol and Sophia are here too."

"Alright, Daryl and I will be out in a moment.. Close the door, please."

"Good morning, Daryl." Carl hollered in a chuckle as he closed the door as he was asked.

"God, that is still so embarrassing!" Daryl scoffed and then smiled as Rick was standing there in dark _wrangler_ jeans and his tight brown shirt with his boots on, "Yer hot.."

"Thank ya. Hurry up!"

"Ready fer round 2?" Daryl teased as he walked out in the bedroom naked.

"No." Rick snickered and then sat on the bed putting his watch on, as he watched Daryl get dressed in his jeans and grey t-shirt.

"I'm ready. Let's go.."

"Alright." Rick smiled and they walked out of the bedroom.

As they reached the living room, Daryl and Rick both hugged Carol.

"Hey boys." she smirked.

"Good morning, darlin'.." Daryl smirked.

"Yeah, good morning.." Rick laughed.

"A very good morning.." Carl chimed in as he fed Judith.

"Alright, well, that's enough from my 9 year old.." Rick snickered and grabbed his keys.

"I'm driving." Daryl countered, grabbing his keys for the truck.

"Seriously?" Rick pouted.

"Determining on how this turns out, Rick. We need to get things for her.." Daryl enlightened _his_ sheriff's deputy.

Rick nodded in agreement and they stood at the door.

"Carl, be good. Watch out for Judith. Behave.. Please." Rick warned.

"I will."

"I mean it.. If your not.. no game for the rest of the week."

"I said, I would be behave." Carl rolled his eyes.

Carol smiled at the two men, "He will be good."

"See." Carl chimed in and laughed at Rick's reaction.

Rick smiled at his son and followed Daryl to the truck, climbing into it. He buckled up and watched Daryl turn on Tim McGraw as he rolled the windows down and drove off.

\-------

About 20 minutes later, they arrived at his old house and didn't see Shane's Hybrid in the drive way.

"Hmm.. Still think he didn't skip out on his daughter?" Daryl scoffed, judgmentally as he then climbed out of the truck and walked to the front door with Rick following.

"I don't know what to think, Daryl." Rick defended yet confusingly answered.

Rick then unlocked the front door and instantly smelt Lori all over the house. He leaned against the door feeling like someone took a bat to his chest.

"You alright, babe?" 

"Mhm." Rick silently answered as he managed to walk further into the house.

"Hey.." Daryl whispered, motioning to the kitchen table.

Rick walked towards the table and glanced at the table.

"He skipped." Daryl rolled his eyes as he began rummaging around the house.

"How can he skip.. if she wasn't his..?" Rick exhaled deeply at the news.

"What?" Daryl scrunched his face, confused.

"Yeah.. Judith ain't his.." Rick sighed as he realized what Shane was trying to say at the funeral.

"Huh? Run that by me _one more time_." Daryl said emphasizing on his words.

Rick looked at him and then handed him the note in which Daryl read aloud, 

_" Dear Rick, My best friend in this whole entire world and the man that I love.. I am so sorry about everything that I've done to you. I am so sorry about what I did with Lori. I am so sorry about not telling you sooner about her and my affair. I am so sorry that I looked you in the eye and was a coward, knowing that you didn't know.. and continuing to go behind your back. I am SO sorry about finding the truth out and for a week or however long it was.. that I lived a lie.. that I lived like I was truly a father. The truth is.. is that.. I took some of your DNA from your old comb and when Judith was born.. I had them run a paternity test to see who's she was.. and the results came back as you being her biological father. Which, obviously makes sense that she instantly calmed down in your arms at Lor's funeral. News came back that I am 'shootin blanks' and I don't have any viable 'swimmers' and the reason why I had that test done was because the time line wasn't addin' up. I asked Lor and she would always deter from the answer that I was looking for.. and I 'member you tellin' me that you two got drunk one night and fucked and then that's when things weren't adding up for me.. Again, I am so sorry. Everything here is for Judith and please, don't come lookin' for me. I am moving on."_

_-Shane, I love you brother._

"Rick.. am I.. reading this right?" Daryl asked.

"Where it clearly says that he's not Judith's father and that I am.. That Lor and I.. had another baby and I wasn't aware of it... That.. He.. That I.. That.." Rick stuttered as he sat on the chair processing things

"That.. your.. Judith's father.. Yeah, that's what I am reading, dear." Daryl sighed as he looked around the still furnished house with pictures of he and Lori all around and then pictures of Shane and Lori. He the looked at the man who had tears in his eyes as he was slouched in the kitchen chair.

"I.. I'm her father?" Rick quietly spoke.

Daryl knelt down in front of Rick as he held his hands and let him cry. He knew he was overwhelmed. His _best friend_ left, his ex wife died, he just found out that he is Judith's father. He was overwhelmed.

\-----

A few hours later, Rick and Daryl arrived back at the house with the crib, dresser, changing table, clothes, toys and everything else they could grab, whether it was Shane or Lori's. They grabbed it. 

Daryl backed the truck up to the house and Carl had come out to help.

"Dad? Why is all this shit here for?"

"Your mouth, son." Rick sighed, exhausted in every way he could be.

"Daryl?"

"Not my place, kid.."

"Dad.." Carl muttered.

"Just help get the easy things inside, we'll talk about it tomorrow night.. okay?"

"Yeah.."

Carl grabbed the little things as Daryl and Rick carried the big things in with Carol's help before she left.

Carl got himself ready for bed as Rick tucked him in and as he closed the door he walked out seen Daryl rocking Judith to sleep as he walked into her room.

"Judy-bug, there's yer daddy.." Daryl whispered at Judith who was trying to fall asleep.

"I still.. can't believe she's mine.." Rick whispered as a tear fell.

"Me either, but I can believe that Lori would have told you."

"I doubt that. She had an entire 9 months to tell me.. and she made me believe for those months that she was my best friend's baby.." Rick sighed as he stood next to his boyfriend, holding his daughter.

"Well, I couldn't be happier to see you raise her. She's so innocent and she's so beautiful and she's.. yours.." Daryl smiled sweetly up at Rick.

"She's ours.." Rick mumbled as he knew what he was saying.

"Ours?" Daryl whispered, caught off guard.

"She's ours. She's yours too. If you want to be apart of this family like that." Rick smiled as he looked into Daryl's eyes with nothing but passion.

Daryl smiled and let tears fall down his cheeks as he looked down at Judith who was sound asleep in his arms. He instantly knew he fell in love with _their_ daughter.


	15. Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick talks to Carl about being Judith's father

The following morning, Rick woke up to make Carl breakfast as Daryl was caring for Judith. He whipped up some eggs and bacon as Carl slowly approached the kitchen.

"Morning." Carl sighed as he sat at the table.

"Help yourself." Rick smiled gently as he sat next to him, watching Daryl come into the kitchen after he laid Judith in the playpen.

"When is Shane coming?" 

"Told ya we'd talk about that tonight." Rick said, biting his lip.

"Why not now?"

"Because, I don't want it to affect your day.."

"Dad." Carl pressed.

Rick glanced at Daryl hoping he'd give him the look on whether to tell him or not, and Daryl stared at his plate while he ate.

"Daryl.." Carl sighed.

"I told ya it wasn't my place, kid." Daryl murmured.

"Shane's not coming back, Carl." Rick bluntly spoke out as he knew Daryl was rolling his eyes.

"What do you mean, _he's not coming back_."

"I mean.. he's not coming back to get Judith.."

"Why? That's his kid.."

Rick kicked Daryl for some help with this conversation and didn't receive any help from his lover, making him groan in frustration.

"Judith isn't his." Rick looked down and then up at Carl.

"How is she not?"

"I thought she was too. He ran a paternity test to make sure that she was his.. and she's not. And I believe him because.. your mom and I-"

"Yer mother and dad, had _rekindled their flame_ and he got her pregnant. Yer mom didn't tell him about Judith being his.. she had Shane believing that she was his kid.. and when things didn't add up for him, he questioned and she changed the subject. We just found out yesterday when we went to check on Shane and he wasn't there. So, she's your fathers." 

"How do you know?"

"He left the test results, Carl. Shane may be a lot of things.. but he's not a liar about things like this.."

"Wow.. So.. that's my.. baby sister?" Carl smiled with pain showing through his eyes.

"Yep. That's yer sister." Daryl faintly smiled as he looked over at Rick seeing the appreciation in his eyes.

"So.. mom.. died because of you and not of Shane?" Carl asked

"I.. Carl.. That's.. Whether she is mine or Shane's.. I firmly believe that your mother.. that.. things happened the way they did because and ultimate power chose that.. I had nothing to do with it.." Rick sighed as he laid his fork down.

"You.. ultimately.. killed mom.." Carl began crying.

"Carl.. I didn't know that I got her pregnant! I didn't know until yesterday reading Shane's note that Judith was mine! I _did not_ kill your mother, and neither did your sister! There was _NOTHING_ that could have been done to change the outcome!" Rick yelled without realizing he was yelling at his son, that sat there startled at Rick's outburst.

Daryl cleared his throat as he laid his own fork down, "I'll take him to school."

"No, he's not going to get the option to talk to me the way that he's done thus far after everything and get to walk away without realizing that what he says fuckin' hurts people." Rick hollered from the hallway as Daryl followed.

"Rick, enough. Both of you are acting out towards one another because of the hurt and it's enough, from both of you. He is still wanting to blame someone for her death. That was his mother and he lost her and is trying to deal with it." Daryl sighed as he sat on the bed.

"I've had it up to _here_ with his mouth and attitude.." Rick sighed as he sat next to Daryl on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

Daryl sighed as he rubbed his lover's back listening to him sniffling, choking back tears.

"You gon' be okay with Judith here? Or shall I take her with me?" Daryl whispered.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not goin' into work today."

"Neither am I. Still on leave.." Daryl smiled.

"You own yer place. I am still on leave.." Rick sighed as he laid back on the bed, allowing his t-shirt to slide up, with his belly showing.

"I know that. I didn't forget that I _co-own_ my business. Plus, I want to spend time with you and Judith today." Daryl smiled as he began rubbing Rick's stomach, gently rubbing under his jeans.

Rick sighed at the touch of Daryl's rough, calloused fingers and palm on his skin.

"What am I gon' do with him.." Rick whispered looking up at Daryl.

"I'll talk to him.."

"I don't know what I'd do without you.." Rick smiled sweetly.

"You'd be lost.." Daryl smirked, leaning down planting his lips on Rick's. Kissing him sentimentally.

Rick smiled and sat up as he then walked out of the room, reaching the living room as he watched Carl holding Judith.

"He's already adapting." Daryl smiled as he wrapped his left arm around Rick's side.

"We will see." Rick smiled as Daryl then grabbed his keys.

"Ready, kid?" Daryl smiled, grabbing Carl's back pack, winking back at Rick who held their daughter after Carl gave her to him.

"I love you, Carl."

"Me too" Carl smiled and followed Daryl to the truck.

After a few moments as he watched Daryl drive off, he pulled his cell phone out calling Carol.

"Hey." Carol answered.

"Good morning."

"Give me a minute. I'm helping Sophia with her hair."

"Alright." Rick cleared his throat as he rocked Judith back to sleep.

After a few minutes, Carol came back on the line.

"So, what are you up to this morning?"

"Holding my daughter."

"Your.. _daughter_?" 

"Yes. That's besides the point. I'll tell everyone soon about it all. I was calling to ask your opinion on something."

"Oh okay. I mean it's not really anyone's business, Rick." 

"Carol.."

"Oh yeah, what can I help you with?" She giggled as she snapped back to the conversation.

"I need the bar locked down for Friday night. I am having my mom watch the kids.. I am throwing a sort of _surprise party_ for Daryl.."

"Oh? Okay. That's fine. May I ask what _kind_ of party so I can plan accordingly to drinks and decorations?"

"E-"

"I'm back, babe!" Rick stopped talking about the party as Daryl emerged in the hallway.

"Call me later, and we'll plan it."

"You knew what I was gon' say?"

"I have a hunch.. but he's back and he loves surprises." 

Rick laughed, "Oh.. okay. Well, I'll call ya later. Give Sophia a hug for us," and he then hung up as Daryl slowly creeped inside.

"Who ya talking to?"

"Carol." Rick smiled.

"About?"

"Judith.."

"Oh, okay. So, I'm thinking.. a shower and then a nap.." Daryl smirked.

"That's your way of spending time with me and our daughter?"

"Oh.. the nap.. is after all the _extracurricular_ activities." Daryl chuckled as he slipped out of his t-shirt.

Rick smiled and laid Judith in her crib, turning the baby monitor on as they walked to their room and closed the door.


	16. Every Breath I Take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick and Carol plan the party for Daryl, Rick's mother watches Carl and Judith for the night. Rick and Daryl have a very intimate night :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping that this turns out fairly well. I will be ending this chaptered fic here in a few chapters most likely. Would love to know if I should do a sequel for these two <3 :)

The week came and gone as quick as it started. Daryl had finally went back to work as Rick had went back to work himself too. He had talked his mother into watching Judith until he or Daryl got off work. She had opened up to the idea of her only son being with a guy, but was still rudimental about the whole idea. He told her everything about Judith and being her father. He had finally confessed the truth to everyone at work who were more than thrilled for him and Daryl. 

As Friday came, Rick had Abraham keep Daryl deterred from the bar, he had dropped Judith off with the diaper bag and everything she would need. He was hesitant to leave her alone, but he knew that his daughter was in good hands. That day, Rick and Carol had went shopping for decorations, heading back to the bar to decorate. 

"Carl and Sophia are gettin' close.." Carol muttered in a giggle as she was standing on a ladder hanging up lights that look like they were falling from the ceiling.

"Meaning what? They're 9.." Rick chuckled as he held his hand on her mid back making sure she didn't fall. Which he felt bad about having her do it, but she insisted as he would rather catch her than vice versa.

"Meaning, that _all_ Sophia talks about is Carl."

"You realize she calls the house, all the time wanting to talk to Carl."

"Does she really? I am so sorry, Rick." Carol smiled sweetly as she crawled down the ladder, having Rick move it over some.

"No need to be sorry. He likes her and sounds like she likes him too. It's cute. An innocent crush. We've all had those." Rick laughed as he handed her the lights.

"Well, I will talk to her about calling so much. I don't want you thinking that I don't watch her and raise her.." Carol sighed.

"Carol, I am not saying anything of the sorts. You're a great mother and you're one of very few people I trust with Carl and Judith."

"How is your ma handling the news?"

"Which news?" Rick chuckled, dryly, knowing which one she was talking about.

"Well, I know how she feels about you being with a guy. You've talked about it all morning. Which, she's just in shock, Rick. It's perfectly fine for her to feel the way she does. I mean she raised you the way she and your father did and then you got married, had Carl, and divorced and fell in love with a guy. She's just gon' need to get used it. Let her warm up about the situation. I mean I could tell the first night that you Daryl were meant to be. They way he looked from all the way across the bar as you looked at him too. Then the second night you were here, 730- right on the dot and.. I just. Rick, I watched a real _love story_ unfold right in front of me.. and since my husband died of cancer.. I haven't truly ever found love and I live through you guys.. And I think that you noticing that Judith was yours brought you two closer together and that this is literally a big step and I am happy to be the one you called to help out."

"She.. is so judgemental. I've never been attracted to a man before, the way that I was about Daryl. He tells me all the time, that he's thankful his father did what he did to make him tough and not care what people think about him, but he hates going to pick Judith up from my mom's because she doesn't say much to him unless it's about Judith.. and she ushers him out the house. It sucks because I want to spend the rest of my life with him, eventually and how can I do that when my own mother barely has anything to do with me, let alone the _man_ that I am in love with.. I haven't felt this whole since the first few years of Lor and my marriage."

"Rick, give her time. She loves you. You are her son. She loves you no matter what and she will til she dies. She loves seeing you happy and she loves those grandbabies, with her whole heart. I know that because I am a mother, and a mother's love is _never ending_.. I wouldn't lie to you about that.." Carol muttered as she hung up the last light and climbed down the ladder.

Carol walked over to the switch and turned it on, as she turned the big lights off and instantly fell into tears of the achievement, "Rick, He's seriously going to love this.."

"You're sure?"

Rick smiled as he felt himself tearing up and looked around admiring the hard work that the two of them put into this _party_ , and then his phone rang.

"Hello?" He answered the phone as he lit a cigarette up heading out the front door.

"Hey, darlin'." Daryl mumbled in the phone, "Where are you?"

"I'm doin thangs.. stuff.." Rick muttered as he dragged in a breath of nicotine.

"Hm. Like what?" Daryl pressed for answers.

"It's a surprise." Rick laughed.

"Rick.. C'mon" 

"Abe on your nerves yet?" 

"Yes. All he says is _mother dick, bitch nuts_ and then I ended up tuning out the rest.. When can he leave me alone?"

"Oh, Dar, he's harmless. He's adorably cuddly and hilarious." Rick counterclaimed containing his laughter the best he could.

"Rick, really? Where is Judith and Carl?" 

"Moms.." Rick answered as he watched the town band come into the bar to set up.

"Why?"

"Cause, there's a surprise for you.. and she's keeping them tonight."

"You picking them up tomorrow? Since she hates me? I apparently made you gay 'ya know." Daryl sighed as he rummaged through the fridge.

"Well, no. You're coming with me tomorrow. And what are you doing?"

"I am what? Run that first part by me one more time. And I'm trying to make me a sandwich. I'm starving. And yer friend is idly sitting at the table staring at me."

"You're coming to my moms with me tomorrow to pick the kids up. And you gonna offer him one?"

"I am not doing that and I don't know. I haven't thought about that since he's staring at me."

"Dar.." Rick smiled through the phone.

"Abraham, would you like a sandwich?" Daryl smirked as he could feel Rick smiling at him.

"Sure." Abraham answered.

"See, I am a nice guy.." Daryl laughed.

"Yeah, yeah you are." Rick snorted a chuckle.

"When am I gon' see you, since we're kidless tonight?" Daryl muffled through a full mouth of food.

"In a couple hours.." Rick sweetly laughed and held the door open for Carol who helped carry in beer.

"Why am I on _house arrest_.. Is the Sheriff's Deputy finally acting on me making a bet, that never happened?" Daryl chuckled.

"What kinda drink you sucking on?" Rick seductively mumbled

"Not you.. like I should be.." Daryl countered in a teasing way.

"Why, I know how much you _love_ that.. Pop?" Rick chuckled.

"Yeah. Didn't feel like having a water.. I know how much you love showering with me and washing all my grease off my body.."

"Dar.. you gotta stop that. You know what that kinda talk does to me.." Rick whispered.

"I also know that you _love_ getting me off in the shower and fucking me on the bed.." Daryl teased.

"You do need to shower.. for tonight. And I laid your clothes out for you after ya left this morning."

"Does Abraham have to stay in there with me? I only like being naked for one person.. and what in the hell in this special occasion?" Daryl mumbled as he chugged the pop after he spoke.

"You'll see. And no, he knows to trust you. Plus, you can't sneak out that bathroom window anyways. So, he'll sit in the bedroom until you are done."

"I's take it yer not gon' tell me..?"

"Nope." Rick smiled, "Shower, get dressed, and I'll see you in a bit."

"Fine." Daryl laughed as he hung up the phone.

\-----

After Daryl had showered, trimmed his hair up a bit along with his facial hair. He dressed in his dark denim _Wrangler_ jeans with the baby blue button up shirt that Rick had bought new for him. He remembered Rick saying that it brought out his blue eyes. As he quickly pulled his boots on after his socks, running his hands through his hair and sprayed cologne on himself he walked out to the bedroom where Abe was sitting.

"You ready, Princess?" Abe teased, making Daryl laugh.

"Yeah, I'm ready. What's he up to?"

"You'll see. C'mon. I'm driving." 

Daryl nodded as he grabbed his keys, locking the house up and followed Abraham to his _Chevy_ truck and got in the passenger side, pulling his sunglasses down as sun was setting. As the ride was quiet he looked at the clock as they pulled into the bar.

"730.." Daryl whispered quietly to himself and jumped out of the truck before it was parked and walked into the closed bar.

Daryl stood there, looking at Rick who was dressed in his own dark denim _Wrangler_ jeans and his maroon button up shirt as his hair was combed back but still curly. He smiled looking around seeing the lights hanging down and approached the older man who held his favorite beer out for him.

"Budweiser." Daryl smirked, and then the band started playing a version of _Midnight Train To Memphis_ which was the first song they both sang, lowly to each other the second night of meeting, "Rick, what is all this?"

"Come with me." Rick smiled sweetly as he held his open hand to the other mans.

Daryl reluctantly followed Rick to the middle of the floor, under the lights.

"Rick?" Daryl breathlessly spoke.

"Daryl, look, I know that I am _not_ the easiest person to live with, or the easiest to love. I know that, but I need you to know that I loved you since the very moment our eyes met one another the first night I came into the bar. I have loved you with every breath I take since I first talked to you. You are my heart and soul and I am beyond happy with you. For my son to open to you and have a relationship with you and be accepting of everything.. to raising my daughter with you.. and for her to be ours. For you sticking by my side through literally everything. For you to be there at Lori's funeral and help Carl and I both through that and letting Carl talk to you about everything. I did all this because I realized after everything, that you are my better half, my love, my life, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.. I want to marry you.. and so, I did all this because I am asking you to marry me and be my husband.." Rick quietly spoke as he began tearing up.

Daryl stood there, choking back his own tears. Not because everything around was him was the most romantic thing that has ever happened to him. He was tearing up because he was completely in love with Rick and he wanted to spend his life with Rick, but couldn't form the words, to answer. He stood there, still looking around and finally landed his eyes back on Rick that stood in front of him.

"Dar.." Rick quietly spoke.

Daryl stood there, inaudible and backed away.. "I.. I.." 

"Daryl.." Rick cried, feeling his heart breaking.

"I need a moment." Daryl whispered as he backed out of Rick's grasp and headed to the front door, leaving Rick standing there buckling to his knees.


	17. Cowboy Take Me Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick follows Daryl, to determine whether he will accept his proposal.

Rick stood there alone in the romantic bar that he and Carol set up for the very moment that had just shattered him. He looked around him, closing his eyes as tight as he could hoping that it wasn't real. When he opened his eyes, he was still standing there as the lights hung low from the ceiling and Carol standing next to him.

"Rick.." She whispered softly.

"No. Let me be."

" _Go_ after him. He needs reassurance. You know that he loves you and I know that you love him. Rick, just.. do it. You need to figure out what's going on.."

"Where did things go wrong, Carol? I planned this night for a long while. I dreamt of asking him to marry me. I.. Did I ask too soon? Did I scare him off for good? Being apart of my family too much? Am I that hard to love?"

"Rick Grimes, you are a tall handsome man, that has a heart of gold. You are flawed, but you love so easily. You have so much love to give, and you've chosen to give all that love to your children and to the man whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. You have been through _so_ much to let this hurdle ruin what you've wanted for so long. Please.. just go after him.." Carol whispered, wiping his tears off his face.

Rick allowed her to do so, soon after running his hand through his dark curly hair as he sauntered to the door of the bar. As he walked out in the dark, quiet night that was lit up by the bright stars, he approached tentatively watching his lover draw in a long breath of a cigarette.

"Dar.." Rick quietly spoke.

"Hey."

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to move too fast. I didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean to make things weird between us.. I am so sorry. I understand if you don't want to marry me and or be apart of my family like I feel that I've forced onto you." Rick sighed as he stood there feeling his heart beat harder with every word.

"Rick, please. Don't be sorry. I just.. got spooked because I've never been in a committed relationship with anyone before you. I've never just upped and moved in with someone, let alone stay the night with my past relationships. I've never been this loved by someone before. I've never had this connection with anyone 'fore. I's.. I want to be with you and I love with all my heart that it hurts. I love you so fuckin' much that most days I feel like my heart is breaking. I look at you when you are asleep, or when you're sitting there with Carl helping him with his homework or with Judith. Hell, when you're driving.. I just sit there admiring you. I just.. have never been so loved like I have been with you.." Daryl whispered, explaining his actions.

Rick stood there listening to everything that Daryl had said and took it in.

"Dar, I never want to force you into anything." 

"You've never forced me into anything." Daryl scrunched his face, trying to see where Rick was coming from.

"I feel like I've forced you to be around Carl and help me with him.. and then with Judith.. I automatically said she was _ours_ without even seeing if that's what you want. I just.. I've dreamt of being with you as my husband, for a long while now. I fell in love with you in the moment we locked eyes, Dar. I can't express how much I love you and how much that I want a future with you. I just want to be with you for the rest of my life."

"Ask me again.." Daryl smiled, sweetly.

"Are you sure?"

Daryl looked at him as he slowly moved closer to him, breathing him in.

"Daryl, would you do me the honor of accepting my proposal?" Rick smiled as his heart was nearly beating out of his chest.

"I'd love more than anything to accept your proposal.." Daryl whispered as they were barely inches away from one another.

Rick sighed in relief and pulled the ring out as he handed it to his _fiancee_. Daryl, instantly lighting up in _glee_ he had already forcefully pulled Rick into him, placing his lips upon Rick's as he had kissed him like no one has ever. He constraited his tongue right into Rick's as they wrestled their tongues around one another's. Rick acting on impulse, pulled Daryl closer to him as much as he could, grinding against him the best he could and drug his teeth down the other man's tongue feverishly until Daryl pulled away.

"Woah." He muttered.

"Yeah." Rick smirked.

"Let's go home, so I can have my way with you.." Daryl moaned as Rick grasped onto Daryl's hardened member in his jeans.

"And if we don't?"

"Well, I shall.. rip them jeans off.. your boxers.. and bend you over this table.." Daryl bit his bottom lip as he was still breathless.

Rick smirked, "That's.. romantic.." 

"I want you.. and we're kid-less tonight."

"And.. What's stopped us from doing it in public? Remember one day we left Carl with Carol and Sophia and we headed up north for the weekend."

"How could I forget? You barely lasted a hour in the truck. You had my _member_ out within a hour and you were-" Daryl smirked as he felt himself growing even more, "Rick.."

"Gotcha!"

"That's not nice. You know I love-" He then forcefully was being kissed with nothing but passion and hands in his hair as their tongues massaged one another.

Daryl eventually broke away, knowing what he had to do.

"I'll go with you to yer mother's tomorrow to pick the kids up.. _IF_ I'm able to get you home and make love to you.."

Rick smirked, winning, knowing he had Daryl wrapped around his finger. He reached down into his pant pocket and for his keys, jangling them in Daryl's face.

Daryl grabbed the keys, instantly, as he then pulled Rick by his shirt forcing him to the car. Rick snorted as he got in the passenger side of his _own_ car.

"I'm riding bitch?" He chuckled.

"You ain't the only _man_ in this relationship.." Daryl smirked as he watched Rick intently.

"How long is it gon' take for us to get home?" Rick bit his lip as he rubbed Daryl through his jeans.

"20 minutes.. if I'm not interrupted." Daryl smiled as he watched Rick even more and pulled onto the road.

Rick grinned with happiness and unbuttoned Daryl's jeans as he the felt his lover raise up to shimmy the jeans and boxers down.

"Thought you weren't gon' interrupt me so I can get us home.." He smirked.

Rick didn't answer and set his hardened member loose as it stood straight up. He leaned down and slowly licked around the tip of his partners cock listening to Daryl sigh in pleasure. He then took Daryl fully into his mouth as much as he could as he began to suck him slow then faster as Daryl then placed his right hand on Rick's head, gently rubbing his head moaning out loud. As Rick was getting the response from Daryl he dragged his teeth lightly on his cock, knowing that it made Daryl go crazy.

"Fuck!" He moaned out very loud in pleasure.

"Mm, want me to stop?"

Daryl pushed Rick down more on his cock as he grabbed his shirt tightly in a fist as he felt himself heading towards bliss. 

"Damn-it." He hit the steering wheel trying not to orgasm.

Rick smirked and then stopped as he watched the road before pulling Daryl into a long heated kiss, breaking it off as Daryl pulled into the drive way. He threw the car in park, pulling Rick more towards him as he tugged on the dark curly hair. He kissed Rick with fiery, lustful kisses until they were both winded.

"Lets.. get.. inside.." Daryl groaned loudly as he got out of the car pulling his pants up.

Rick followed instantly as they both sprinted to the front door. Rick began kissing him on his neck as he also bit his earlobe, turning him on more.

"I can't get the fuckin' door-" Daryl snorted in a groaning laugh as he finally got the door unlocked and was pushed forcefully inside.

Rick then slammed the door as he lustfully and heatedly kissed him down the hallway, nearly knocking everything over. Tripping over baby toys and the play pen, but managing to get to their room, shutting the door. :)


	18. Laredo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Rick woke up tangled up in Daryl's arms as the sun shined through the windows. And they arrive at his mothers to pick the kids up.

The sun brightly radiated through the windows throughout the house. Rick woke up to Daryl's snoring as he was completely passed out, not really caring about the sun. He laid there tangled up with Daryl as his arms were around him and their blankets were all over the place along with their pillows. 

"Dar?" Rick smirked trying not to laugh at the young man who's hair was raveled all over the bed. 

Daryl twitched his nose and went back to snoring, pulling Rick closer to him.

"Dar.." Rick snorted lightly.

"We ain't got the kids. Yer mom can feed them breakfast and we can lay here for a min. Just.. lay here with me and let me hold you."

"We're late. She's called my phone literally 3 times so far." Rick sighed as he laid there moving the younger man's hair out of his face.

"What time is it?" Daryl sighed, squeezing his eyes tighter at the sun.

"1130.." Rick whispered as he kissed the man's neck.

"Don't start that, unless yer prepared to finish it." 

Rick instantly stopped as he removed himself from his lover's hold on him.

"Do I have to go with you? Ain't like Carl missed me for one night, or Judith for that matter. She's only like 3 weeks old." Daryl muttered, sitting up against the head board.

"She's a month old. And I want you to go with me because I wanted to tell my mother and also Carl." Rick mumbled as he stood against the dresser before pulling out clean clothes.

"Yer mom.. she's not going to be accepting, Rick. She doesn't like me, she does not approve of me being with you.. and I highly suspect that she doesn't want Judith raised by two men." Daryl groaned in frustration, crossing his arms.

"Why do you say that?" Rick whispered as he sat on the bed, confused on what Daryl was saying.

"Cause.. I know _people_ like her." 

Rick sat there looking deep into Daryl's eyes, "People like who?"

Daryl sighed heavily and gazed into his lover's eyes.

"Daryl?" Rick pressed.

"Does it matter? I know how she feels and that's the bottom line. Why subject me in that when I don't want to be apart of that sort of drama. I am in this relationship for you. No one else, especially not for your mother." 

"You're going." Rick murmured as he pressed his lips in a tight firm line.

"Why the fuck am I goin? I don't want to go! I can see the kids when you get back. We can tell Carl together, without yer mother sitting there.. judging me.. She's made it very well known that I am not welcome there unless it's for the kids.. which is like once a week." 

"Cause.. You're my fiancee and whether my mother accepts it or not, she's apart of my life and the kids' life and she's my only living parent left and I want her to get to know you and for her to know that I do love you and that even though I've always been with women.. that regardless, love comes in different ways and I found love in someone who- You're going, okay. You promised." Rick whispered, standing back up and headed into the master bathroom, gently closing the door as he started the shower.

\----

Clearly, Daryl knew they were having an _argument_ , or _disagreement_ rather. He took a quick shower in the guest bathroom and got dressed and waited patiently in the living room for Rick to come out so they could leave.

After a few moments, Rick came into the living room looking at Daryl who sat on the couch with his sunglasses over his eyes, as he always did when they fought. He rolled his eyes, grabbing his keys and walked out the front door bone legged as he heard Daryl following and the locking of the door. As they both reached the car, Rick had quickly got in and Daryl followed in the passenger side of the car. He looked at Rick through his sunglasses, noticing that his wet hair was dripping and instantly curling up in the back, which made him smile to himself because he loved those curls.

Rick started the car and started heading into town towards his mothers. He drove the entire way there, not talking to Daryl. He wanted to cave in and forgive him but then he realized that he had a point and he was gonna make that point, in front of his mother.

\----

As they arrived at his mothers, they sat in the car quietly until he eventually shut the engine off. He took his seat belt as he climbed out of the car, shutting the door and looked across the hood at Daryl who took his sunglasses off and smiled lovingly at him. As he walked around the car he grabbed Daryl's hand interlocking their fingers and they both strolled up the the front door. Right as Rick began to reach out to knock, the door opened, and his mother was standing there, and in that moment Daryl stood right behind Rick, letting go of his hand.

"Rick, good afternoon sweetheart." His mother smiled pulling him into a hug and kissed his cheek.

"Afternoon, Ma." Rick smiled, hugging her back. 

" _Daryl_ " She forced a smile

"M'am" Daryl smiled sweetly at her, pulling his sunglasses back down over his face.

"Where are the kids?" Rick asked

"Carl's out back playing on that play set and Judy is sleeping."

"Good, cause, we need to talk to you."

" _We_ " She squinted from the sun.

"Yeah, _we_ "

" _We_?" Daryl questioned Rick behind his back.

"Regardless, Ma, we need to talk to you and I need to talk to you. May we come in?"

His mother stood there for a second then stepped to the side allowing her son and his _lover_ enter the house as she closed the door. She followed them into the living room as they all three stood there, inaudibly. 

"What do you two need to talk to me about?" She asked.

"Ma, I think you need to sit." Rick whispered as he took a seat, following his mother, then Daryl following beside Rick. 

"Not sure I like where this is going.." She whispered.

"Ma." Rick sighed as he took Daryl's hand in his and looked up at his mother.


	19. A Man Holding On (To A Man Letting Go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Rick sat there holding tightly onto Daryl's hand as his palms began to sweat profusely. He kept his eyes locked on his mother, feeling his heart beat hard against his chest, not knowing how to tell his mother that raised him that he was engaged to the man sitting next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been trying since day one to make this believable and an love story that is real. That the readers are able to vision this as if it's really happening and I know in some chapters, my writing has slipped, but almost 1300 hits and comments and being begged to write more, I love it! 
> 
> I also, know that I haven't written a heartbreaking chapter between these two adorable loving men.. and this is the one where I shall pour my heart and feelings into this as a sad chapter because A) I feel I write better sad chapters that happy ones and B) A real relationship has it's up and downs and C) I'm still on the quest for this to be believable.

Rick sat there holding tightly onto Daryl's hand as his palms began to sweat profusely. He kept his eyes locked on his mother, feeling his heart beat hard against his chest, not knowing how to tell his mother that raised him that he was engaged to the man sitting next to him. As he sat there feeling the sweat piling up in his tshirt, he began shaking his leg.

"Rick.." His mother said as he folded her hands in her lap.

"Yeah.. uhm.." Rick cleared his throat.

"What is the big deal? Why are you acting all, crazy?"

"I'm acting crazy because.. Daryl and I.. got engaged last night and I wanted to tell you because you're my mother and I love you with all my heart and I want you to still be apart of the kids and my life.. and possibly open up to the reality that I want to be with Daryl for the rest of my life.." Rick bluntly spoke.

"You.. _what_?" She asked, looking at both of them.

"I proposed to him last night and he accepted." Rick whispered

"And the point of all this is for what, Rick? Why are you telling me? You're a grown man that can make his own decision and-"

"Ma, I'm telling you because.. I want your blessing." Rick muttered as he sat back against the back of the couch.

"You know my thoughts on this and everything that's happened to you and how you're going about all these things. You're.. a father.. a cop.. and now you're professing to me that you are so in love with a guy and getting married to him.. and for what? How long is it going to last? He can't give you kids.. So what future do you really have with him?" His mother angrily spoke.

"He can give me love, support, attention and everything I've never got with Lori!" Rick slightly raised his voice.

"But why can't a woman give you that!?" 

"Because.. I don't want a woman, Ma. I want Daryl, I'm gon' have Daryl.. and I want to raise my family with him.. That's what I want.." Rick groaned in frustration. 

"I don't want my son with another man! It's not.. Christian.. Rick.. Carl growing up and Judith growing up with two dads.. it's not normal."

Daryl sighed, standing up removing his hand from Rick's.

"Dar.." Rick whispered.

"I'm gon' head out. I'll talk to you later." Daryl sighed as he started walking towards the door, with Rick following.

"Don't leave. Please."

Daryl faintly smiled with his heartbreak darkening his eyes. He took the ring off his finger as he laid it gently in Rick's palm and walked out the door. 

Rick stood there watching Daryl walk down the drive way, down the street. As Daryl was out of site, he slammed the door and headed back into the living room where his mother was. She looked at him as he placed the ring in his pocket.

"Rick.." She whispered.

"No. Please. Just don't, Ma. I understand. You didn't like Lor.. and you don't like Daryl but what gets me is that I had never seen you treat Lori that bad.. and I can't believe I saw that out of _you_ in front of the man that I love with my whole heart. The man who's been here since the beginning.. And for me to man up and tell you when he didn't want to because he was afraid of this reaction right here.. I'm just saying that.. I am heartbroken because I probably just lost the best thing to happen to me besides my children and you ruined that for me. You ran him off.. and I'll probably never have this sort of love again."

"Rick.."

"Ma, don't." Rick warned as he went into the back room where they always opened Christmas Presents and picked Judith up, strapping her in the car seat as he grabbed the diaper bag and opened the back door, hollering for Carl to come on.

"Rick, I am so sorry."

Rick ignored her apology and kissed her bye as he then walked himself and the kids to the car and put Judith's car seat in the base and made Carl buckle up. As he then climbed in the car, he headed out towards the house.

"Dad?" Carl asked, quietly.

"Yeah, son?"

"What happened?"

"Nothin.. Grown up shit."

"What kinda shit.."

"The shit that doesn't concern you. Okay? And watch your mouth, please"

"Is Daryl home? I was wanting to show him the game that Grammy bought me."

"I dont think he will be.."

"Where is he at?"

"I am not sure on that. He might be with Merle or working.. I am not too certain."

"Did you two break up?"

"I.. I don't know.."

"You can't break up.."

"Carl.."

"Right, Grown Up Shit." Carl said repeating his father.

 

Rick drove the rest of the way, silently as Carl left the situation alone and Judith was asleep. As he finally reached the driveway, he noticed Daryl's truck not there and he felt his stomach tightening in fear and heart break.


	20. It Starts With Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the official and final chapter of this story. I will be doing another sequel that follows 5 years later :)
> 
> I'll start it tomorrow!

Rick slowly pulled into the driveway, putting the car in park. As he turned the car off, Carl instantly jumped out of the car.

"Carl, grab the diaper bag." Rick said as he walked around to the back of the car, grabbing the car seat out of the base.

Carl grabbed the diaper bag and the keys out of his dads had. He ran to the door unlocking it as Rick followed behind him.

"Can you make your sister a bottle, please?" Rick asked as he unbuckled Judith, who was crying, and began rocking her.

"Dad?" Carl asked.

"Fill the bottle to the _6_ and put _3 scoops_ of formula in it, then shake it until it's completely mixed together."

Carl walked into the kitchen grabbing a clean bottle as he filled it as he was told to and shook it. After he completely mixed it he walked back into the living room as he sat next to his dad watching him put the bib on his sister. 

"Thank you." Rick faintly smiled, grabbing the bottle and began feeding his little girl.

"Wish mom was here." Carl whispered.

"Me too" Rick admitted as he rubbed his daughter's head.

"Did you love mom?"

"I'll love her until the die I die."

"If she were here.. would you get back with her."

"I'm not sure, son." Rick sighed heavily as he then burped Judith who was sleeping.

"What do you mean _I don't Know_. You just said you miss her and love her."

"Carl, can't you ask me when you're like 18? I don't want to talk to my 10 year old son about my ex wife who passed away. It's not appropriate.. plus, I love Daryl."

"Yet, Daryl is _NOT_ here. He left you! He left me and he left Judith!" Carl sobbed through his words.

"Carl, whether he left me or not, he didn't leave you or Judith. He loves you both so much.. probably more than he ever _loved_ me. And no matter what, it wasn't your fault." Rick muttered reaching out to Carl with his free hand and in that moment all he could do was watch his son pull away and run down the hall to his room, slamming the door.

Rick sat there as he held Judith tightly and he realized that Carl was right. He did leave him and the kids. After a few moments, he took Judith to her room as he changed her diaper and then into her sleeper as he laid her down in her crib. He grabbed the monitor walked out of her room. He then stopped by Carl's room and walked in. Carl was sound asleep, he figured he must have cried himself to sleep. He closed the door back, not wanting to wake him up. 

He took the monitor with him as he grabbed the trash out of the kitchen along with a beer and headed out front to throw the trash in the trash can. He headed back towards the porch, collapsing in the chair. He closed his eyes, replaying the entire day in his head while drinking the beer.

He sat there listening to the growing sound of the crickets and the lightning bugs as he then saw bright lights pulling into his driveway. He heard the sound of heart breaking country music and the roaring sound of the engine.

' _Fuck Me_ ' Rick thought to himself as he stood up, leaning against the railing.

He stood there watching the younger man approach the porch.

"Hey," Daryl whispered walking up the steps.

Rick stood up straight, holding onto his beer as he studied Daryl intently.

"Uhm, thought we could talk.. really talk about things." He muttered out, stepping closer to Rick.

Rick immediately stepped back away from Daryl.

"What are you playing, Daryl?"

"I ain't playin' at nothin"

Rick narrowed his eyes at Daryl as he exhaled deeply.

"Rick.. can we please talk?"

"There's nothing to talk about. I'll have your clothes and belongings packed for you to pick up tomorrow when Carl is at Sophia's."

"Yer kicking me out?" Daryl sighed as he took his hand through his hair.

"Can't kick someone out who's already left." Rick muttered, shouldering the younger man as he walked past, heading towards the front door.

Daryl swiftly turned on his heels, grabbing Rick's arm, "But I came back!"

"For how long this time, Daryl? I wanted you to be apart of my family. You _are_ apart of this family, but you can't just decide when we're convenient for you. You didn't just leave me this time. You left my son whose taken a liking to you and my 1 month old daughter. You didn't just break _one_ heart tonight, you broke _three_. I have to think about my children, Daryl." Rick said raising his voice, as he pulled out of Daryl's grasp.

"Rick.." Daryl whispered, realizing what was happening and began tearing up.

"You know, I may be the one walking away right now, but you're the one that's leaving-again" Rick sighed as he opened the door, slowly walking in as he locked the door behind him.

Daryl stood there watching every light turn off in the house. He realized that he fucked up and he never thought in a million years that he'd be the one standing there all alone on the porch by the man he loved.


	21. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ Preview of the sequel ~
> 
> I know that it's short and sweet, but if I type anymore.. it'll give TOO much away for the next chapters I plan on writing. Hopefully another 20 :)

5 years later, Rick had been raising Carl and Judith on his own. His break up with Daryl had messed him up pretty bad. Not long after the break up, his mother had passed away and he had to plan her funeral and on her death bed, the one thing he least expected was her _blessing_. 

Judith was now 5 years old as Carl was 15. He was in high school, Judith was in Preschool. Rick became Sheriff as Michonne got offered a better job. He had not seen Daryl in 5 years, even when he'd go to the bar, he wasn't there. He hadn't really even tried to get in touch with his former lover and vice versa. Since that night, Daryl had not contacted him. He drove by the shop and never saw his truck. There was literally _no_ trace of Daryl. As if he was a figure of his imagination like it never happened. He hadn't heard from Shane at all in the past 5 years. He and Abraham grew closer and he considered the man his _brother_.


End file.
